What is a good excuse to turn down a wedding invite you already accepted?

a guy friend of mine invited me as his "plus one" to his brother's wedding and i accepted. i have been dating a guy, but his Facebook said single and things were/are in a grey area between us, so i thought it would be ok to accept the invitation.

i ended up feeling like it wouldn't be right of me to go to the wedding without running it by the guy i'm dating first, out of respect to him... even though were not boyfriend/girlfriend.

at first he said he was fine with it, but after he thought about it he said that he didn't want to be controlling and i can do what i want but if things progress between us in three weeks (when the wedding is) he definitely wouldn't be ok with it.

now i have to tell my guy friend i cannot make it to the wedding, but i dont know how... i'm also a little apprehensive to say no just yet because in my gut i wonder if i will still be with the guy i'm dating (i WANT to be with him, but when he said "IF things continue to progress between us" it kinda made it sound like he's not fully invested.

how do i handle this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow really? Your boyfriend sounds like he needs to chill out a little bit. And the fact that he doesn't even sound certain if the two of you are going to last for another few weeks doesn't sound very promising. Did he even say why he wouldn't be okay with you going to the wedding with your friend? Why would it not be okay in three weeks' time? Honestly you should just go to the wedding, go and have some fun, he can deal with it, it's a harmless thing...

    • i think that's where i'm confused... he's not "officially" my boyfriend. were just "monogamously dating" but i guess he sees things potentially progressing to a different level in three week's time and that's why it wouldn't be ok? I don't know. and you're right - i was kinda upset when he didn't sound for certain when he said "if we're still together then" and that's when i made it clear that im no one night stand girl etc. i guess he feels like maybe in three week's time it would be more of a bf/gf thing and that's why it wouldn't be ok? i honestly dont know. i just wanted to be respectful to whatever it is we have, but at the same time when he didn't seem like in 3 weeks it would be a sure thing i wasn't too happy

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  • ITs a dick move if you say no AFTER you already accepted, simply because of your "kinda, sorta, relationship".

    Weddings are expensive, and your +1 as an invitation means that someone is PAYING for you to be there! Just go to the wedding, and you can leave immediately after the ceremony.

    If you can't do that much, ask a girlfriend you know to take your place.

    • you're right! it is my fault in a large way, because i did accept before talking to the guy im "with". but i accepted because like you said - its a "kinda, sorta relationship". i know i will be in family pictures and the like at the wedding so it's definitely a dick move to say no now. i feel so conflicted and terrible all at the same time. like im caught in between respecting the "monogamy" of whatever this guy and i have and accompanying a guy friend to a wedding that will be fun.

    • The guy your dating sounds like an unsure and controlling jack ass. Go with your FRIEND. If the guy you're "dating" isn't sure if you're up, down, or in the middle, then he shouldn't be able to decide if you can go to a wedding with your friend or not. If you aren't going to bang this friend, before, after, or during the wedding. IT ISN'T A BIG DEAL. IT isn't cheating to go to a wedding with someone.

  • As long as you just go to the wedding as that guy's FRIEND you should be okay.