Do you think if you inexperienced, its better to start out dating people your not terribly into, rather than messing up with someone you REALLY like?

Assuming your going to probably mess up a lot and it will be kind of a crappy consequently brief relationship, just sorting out what you want and getting used to things.

Would it be better to start off with a person you do not seeing yourself getting emotionally invested in?

Or do you think that would that back fire because you will not make a real effort if you do not 'really' like the person?

I think it would be a shame to waste your trial relationship/s on a person you actually like.

I do not man deceive them and act more into them than you are. Just limit yourself to people you're casual feeling about.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you should ever date anyone you don't actually like. Not only is it misleading for the guys who will think you REALLY like them, but it's also a miserable experience, I imagine, trying to be with someone you don't really want to be with.

    • Well not DONT like just not a person you can see falling in love with. I guess I'm thinking of dating though not relationships.

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    • Relationships and/or exclusivity. It's the same, to me.

      For me, I don't even agree to a date with someone I wouldn't expect a relationship from. If, after a date or two, it's obvious we don't both want a relationship, I stop dating them. But for me, dating is the road to a relationship. I'm a relationship girl, not a dating girl, haha!

    • Wow i had no idea such a thing existed.

      i mean i can see the difference between not dating someone you KNOW for a fat doesn't want arelationship with yo, or you with them, and dating regardless.

      but to expect it to turn into something. how does that work. because we can't really know or assume we will want a person-can we? I mean we can find out but expect?

      I lik that you can think that way. i just couldnt. ill feel like i was jumping to conclusions. though it does make everything seem very precarious and tentative which is annoying to me.

      though i guess id have to decide i want a relationship not just decide i like a person, that might make sing things turning into something, make more sense.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's a hard thing to do, i guess. People have this way of making bad first impressions and then growing on you. So you never really know..
    Also part of the experience is getting your heart broken, it's learning about yourself and what you're like in a relationship. It's harder to learn how to be with someone you care about, if you don't actually care about them. That's the emotional learning part.

    • Good point.

      I guess i was thinking if I already liked someone a lot i'd rather try it out with someone else so id be in slightly better shape to try it with the person i really like. but thats sort of silly i guess. for many reasons :)

    • No, it's not silly at all. It makes sense, because you don't want to like ruin that chance:)
      But if you look at it this way, while your getting your practice hours in, the guy you really like might move on to someone else because you're no-longer available. So you could lose him that way too.

    • Yes. Thats the problem with it:)

  • I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly so feel free to correct me. Ok, so you would date someone you don't see yourself getting emotionally invested in? what if they're emotionally invested in you and then get attached to you? Its ok to play games with people? I think it would be a shame to waste someones time and emotion knowing you weren't feeling them from the jump.

    • true. but what if you're BOTH not too into it. just practicing. that was my original idea. but since then i realiez it still won't help you learn about relationships where you do care. so nvm:)

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    • thank you very much:)

    • You're welcome.