How to message this guy without sounding like a creepy, stalker girl?

Okay, so I'm in college now and I play the saxophone in a concert band. This guy plays the saxophone in a jazz band, which is in another building, but after going to jazz concerts I've seen him before. Some of my friends are in the same band as him but don't know him too well. I know his name because it was mentioned in a concert program. But when I first saw him I thought he was very attractive and he also had this skater/alternative look and I'm like that, too. So I found him on Facebook and I didn't like click through everything and stalk the crap out of him or anything, but based on the things I can see first on his profile it looks like we could really get along.

But how can I talk to him without seeming creepy? I mean, he doesn't know me but I know his name. It sounds like it would be creepy but hey - his name was printed in the concert program. Like what would I say? I'm a rational person so I know I wouldn't be like "your hot! :) :) :)" No, I know I'd use proper grammar and spelling and not use emoticons or any of that crap. And compliments can get creepy, so I don't want to comment on his appearance at first.

So what would I say? Something like "Hey, this is a little weird and all, but I saw you at a jazz concert before and I saw your name in the program so I felt like sending you a message! A few of my friends are actually in the Jazz Band too and I play the sax in concert band. I'm Ashley by the way."

I mean, that's not creepy is it?

So any advice you can give me would be helpful!


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  • Being some of your friends are in the same band as he is in, why don't you get together with them some nite, and just go around him, and introduce yourselves as "band members?" Nothing creepy in that. Just make it cordial and friendly, and take things from there, Ashley. And maybe you can all even suggest going somewhere after the music, and have a Cappuccino? xx

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