Could a fear of abandonment/insecurity lead to her not wanting to move forward with our relationship?

I was dating a girl for about a month, we are both in second year of college. The dating was progressing rather seriously as we agreed to be exclusive, though weren't in a "relationship" I guess, whatever that means, I think labels are dumb anyway.

But here goes, she recently said she wasn't sure about being in a relationship, which came as a total 180 swing to me based on her previous behavior. We would spend a lot of time together (which in hindsight I've felt that we moved way too fast) and she seemed to want to see me often, even getting mad when I would turn her down for spending time together (which was rare that I would do so). At the time I thought she just really wanted to see me, but now it seems as though it was her feeling insecure. Another issue which I think may have compounded it was the fact that I was struggling with performance anxiety due to nerves with her, and I feel like that made her think she didn't turn me on or something, which wasn't true. She would say things like "I'm not sure you want me" and whatnot.

So in hindsight I should have seen these red flags, but things moved so fast that I didn't really notice at the time. And as much as I hear and know that I should move on, I just can't help but feel like I should try and work it out with her, which is a flaw of mine that I am trying to "fix" her I guess. (I am aware I have issues myself too)

What do you make of the situation, also anyone else's experiences overcoming insecurities, or what it seems I would be best served doing going forward?

I forgot to add that she suffers from being homesick at school, I think, and goes home quite often so I didn't know if this was also a possible sign of an insecurity or fear of abandonment by me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say try to work things out together. Only if she wants too. please do not try to "fix" her. It's not possible to fix her. All you can do is ask her if she wants to work things not if not i sugeest you move on.


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