If a guy you've been dating for 1.5 months told you to call him or text him would you?

I have been dating a guy for a month and a half. Things have been going really well, but every now and then he'll tell me to text him or call him tomorrow at the end of our phone conversation. Is he insecure? Is he gauging my interest? He calls and texts consistently, but it annoys me that he tells me to do this. Would you call and text him when he tells you to? Or wait it out for him to contact you again? For example, ok Friday night he told me to text him tomorrow. I did and we met for lunch and as I was leaving lunch he told me to call him later, but I said I would be busy most of the night. We never said anything about today, so should I wait for him to contact me or call him later? The last few days it's been me initiating the contact and I don't want to make it into something he expects.

I don't know if it matters, but we aren't exclusive yet. We've been going out for a month and a half.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with iampikachu. It simply seems like he wants you to be a bit more active, especially if you haven't been in the past? I'm not sure since you didn't state that in your question.
    Anyway. It does seem like he doesn't want to be the only one who initiates anything, which is good. You should try to split it equally between the two of you, and kind of try to establish a "back and forth" system. And, guys are really afraid of being clingy. It's only been 1.5 months, so maybe he's still kind of insecure and doesn't want to come off as too strong and drive you away. He's simply trying to involve you.
    But yes, if he turns the table completely and you end up being the only one who's initiating all the time, you could say the same thing to him and ask him to contact you instead.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Why does the guy have to be the only one to initiate things. He is probably tired of always having to initiate things. He wants to see if your really interested or not.

    • Very true. This is actually why I drop a lot of girls. They're always waiting for me to initiate so I either think they're not interested or that they're just the type to want attention.

    • I do initiate from time to time though. I'll invite him to things I'm going to and text him, etc. I just want to keep feeling like he is pursuing me.

    • The thing is this is a new age. Now guys want to feel that they are being "pursued" as well. It isn't the same as a woman but what I mean is that we want to know that the woman is thinking about us and interested enough in us that she will make an effort. But honestly I think andizta has it right on the girls post. In this case I think maybe your thinking about it too much. I am really bad at that as well. During this divorce process I have been going through I have been working with the therapist to try and be more of a "go with the flow" person.
      anyway, good luck hope it works out.

What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe it's a habit? and he doesn't even realize he says this... I know people who ALWAYS say "call me" "text me" just because... as a form of farewell, like see ya, bye, talk to you later... they say call me, instead...
    Maybe he really misses you before you even leave and he wants to make sure you call him? ahahah just kidding :D! but anyway, if it bothers you, perhaps you should ask him "why do you always tell me to call you?" or "why do you always tell me to text you? if you know i'm going to do it anyway?" Or do you only call and text him when he tells you to? Because if that's the case, perhaps he notices that and so to make sure you do, he says it cause otherwise you won't. ?

  • Well if you guys are dating it should be a 50/50 situation. I believe maybe he expects you to text or call first because he might be afraid that if he initiates and conversation you may be too busy. That way he won't feel like he is bothering you.

  • Quit over analyzing it or you won't have a relationship at all! I'm not sure why it's such a big deal.