My bf of 2 years is a good guy. Treats me well. We have our ups and downs and he has stuck it out through so much with me.
I have been irrationally irritable lately. Towards him. I want to get some space and get back into my religion. I don't want to break up but I want things to change we are each other's only friend and I'm starting to branch out. I have had immense depression because our relationship is stifling. I feel like I live for him and it's wrong. And I stopped going to my place of worship for 2 years because I was having premarital sex w my bf.
This relationship has taken it's toll spiritually, mentally and emotionally which I admit is my fault.
But is it normal to want to just get my life back together? Ik he keeps wanting to support me but no I want to do this alone and for him to back off a little and let me do it. Especially since he doesn't serve god it should b separate.
Why can't I feel right about him being so involved? Is there something wrong with me I really really feel like I'm stagnant
I don't want my boyfriend to be my support system !! Is that normal? Does that mean I don't love him?
He has been my only support for so long I can't take It anymore I don't want to rely on him anymore I want to be my strong self again and rely on myself and other things as well like god
Then we can enjoy our time together more instead of sitting up under each other getting anxiety attacks lol
Most Helpful Girl
After two years of being this noose around one another's necks, you want "time out" to Find time and---space---to try and get your life back, and in the meantime, find yourself again. You're tired of not being your own woman, not being able to partake in a religion that you love and respect, and he has been, not only your "support system," but your Life Support unit as well. You and he have no other friends, only depending and leaning on one another, and it's almost as though you are both leading lives as two nomads, sheltering yourself from the world. It's not healthy, and I can see Why you feel strangulated and want some room to breathe to get back who you once were. And in the meantime, to come back down to earth, and realize there is so much more out there than you have been "given and livin'." You've been missing out on this because you've been stuck in this boat for two years with him, and now you see it's starting to weigh you down, where you might sink to the bottom if you don't jump on shore. You're crying for a life jacket, and once safe on land, you want to be "strong and rely on yourself," and Not on Him, to make things work for you.
Yes, you love him, but you are beginning to resent him in your own right, and if you continue as you're going, you're going to remain "stagnant," and even want to-----leave him. Your gasping for air, getting anxiety attacks, and if you don't break free, you will eventually run from him.
You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel. You've been together long enough where you should be able to talk about anything, and this is One time that things need to be sorted out and worked out. If he gives you no leverage, then maybe it's time for a break...
Might I suggest allowing each other some breathing room by Beginning your Beguine 2-3 times a week with "doing things separately." It might help your relationship become better and stronger and----"Then you can enjoy your time together more."1