Types of guys advances and how to understand better?

I am 18 and female, I've only two really shitty relationships ( I really lack interest in people romantically)

Anyway I am having a bad time trusting guys lately like I had a friend try and use me for sex (luckily we never did) and not care.

I am confident by myself and independent and I think I'm pretty (not cockily) I love myself.

These are the types of guys I run into,

1. They are hermits who don't really talk much they are emotional but don't show it. They mostly try to flatter me with compliments and they get attached really easy and get clingy and insecure.

2. On my level intelligent guys, who become close to my best friend and seem to understand me and are nerdy like me. I have had two friends likes this though, one screwed me over bad and now I have a much nicer family oriented friend with this personality but I'm still nervous about trusting him.

Here's my problem, I do sorta like my smart friend he goes out of his way for me and stuff and we are casually seeing eachother. He seems to care about me but what bothers me is the way he says "Guys do this guys are like this, I'm not I'm different" a ton. Like he has some complex or something. We read eachother's minds a lot and have innocently slept together (same bed) but its like he's more obsessed with my family too.

I also have another guy who likes me from another state but he is kinda like personality number 1 and last night we talked on Skype and I was doing most of the conversation and it was awkward pauses but he is like overzealousy wanting to be more than friends (he's cute but I don't move fast) calls me pretty and wants to joke cuddle a lot.

Its not like I'm in love with them or something stupid, honestly I casually dating without commitment to test the waters. I AM not sleeping around or kissing anyone ever though. I hate kissing and sex.

Its just I am still dating around but I don't feel like I can trust anyone. How can I know if they are into me for real or not?


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What Guys Said 2

  • There's huge overlap in personality 1 and 2.

    The "I'm different from other guys' speech is typical of nice boys. They mean what they say, but they're also... well they're trying to be what they think they're supposed to be for you, but its probably fake and not really what you want.

    If you can be bothered to work on them, you need to tell them 'I don't need you to be different from other guys, i need you to be you. And sometimes I need you to be -just like- other guys, because that's what i want sometimes'.

    • He just says he's nice and not pushy and since I've had bad experiences he promises he'll be different and he's all like "Guys around here are awful and dirty" I feel like he means it but still

    • He does mean it. Which means he's gone overboard the other way, won't make his needs known, and will sit aorund being nice and hoping you meet them, then be upset if you don't.

      All of which is pretty normal sadly, not a reason to note date him just something you'll have to beat out of him if you do ;)

  • Most guys out there are seeking women's validation that's why..


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