What should I do? He is not consistent! new to this one!

Okay, met this guy in a bar, he approached me, gave me his mob no, I text him following day as did not say bye at end of night, he text back, I text back and no text back from him.

he text 5 days later again, I text following day, asked him if he wanted to meet up, no reply, I text again 2 days later, no reply.

okay, he now text 2 days later, I text him back saying just leave it as no worries he prob did it for a laugh or is seeing someone. he said no that's not it, he got lots on & did like me & want to meet.

so, no text for 2 weeks, then he rang me, then no call for 2 weeks again, I text that eve after his phone message & said I would contact him later in wk. I called him 4 days later. we met that eve & both very attracted to each other.

normally I would got home but went to his place and you can guess what happened. he dropped me home following day, said he would call me when finished work, he did not and text later that night, I text back and no reply.

he then text following day, I text, then he text, I text again then he did.

i text following day to make bit effort, no reply. Got fed up with it as he works loads and very much in to from what I can see going out with his mates, lads hols...

Now wait for it, I text saying best we don't contact each other again as I could see where it was going, he left a voice message saying he wanted to sort this out & then text asking why I would not pick up phone but there was a matter of urgency I had to deal with.

i spoke to him, he asked me what was going on and I said that if it was a friend you would text/call them and it just seems to me that he was not that interested. I also said I would not chase him either or anyone for that matter. he don't owe me anything because we were intimate with each other. I told him its fair enough he's busy but its the not knowing part and I don't want to make fool of myself.

he said he wants to see me again but he has not asked me out again. his ex moved out last year so maybe he just having fun or taking his time or not really in to me but we only have gone out once. I def would not do that again on a first date and would go home but I have been single a while but still left me feeling bit let down.

saying that he called me following day and left a message which surprised me. I text him following day sayin I am also busy this week and will contact him next week as need to clear my head and focus on other things

I just now that in the past I have been distant or not made much effort when I am not really in to a guy but it did throw me he rang me when I said we may as well leave it.

Any ideas as can't afford to get hurt at moment? sorry for how long this is and maybe bit boring!

I do actually like him and knew I would even before I met him, had this feeling about him so trying to keep my heart safe as only got broken last year when I had to split up with my partner


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What Guys Said 1

  • I can think of a few possibilities:

    -He's using you as a Plan B while he dates other girls.

    -He's too busy with work and/or schooling to date.

    -He's toying with you for fun.

    My rule-of-thumb is that I give girls 2 chances, and 2 chances only to go out with me. If someone can't follow through on their commitment once, I'm patient. But if she plays with me twice, I'm gone -- she had her chance,but they blew it. Why? Because twice is a pattern of behavior. I don't care if they're busy, using me as a Plan B, toying and laughing. The motives don't matter to me.

    What matters is how people behave. And this guy's behavior is inconsistent. Inconsistent behavior is a red flag, especially when he ought to be going out of his way to impress someone new.

    • Thanks for your reply. What you said I knew in my heart at some level but needed someone else to say it for me if that makes sense. I was in a very damaging relationship for over 2 years and not going down that road again. I am too important as in deserve to be happy. And your right cos I know when a guy has been really interested he does make the effort to contact me and reply and also call me.

    • Blindness is most certainly not blind! I never thought of it that way......about being consistent especially when your dating someone new. Of course at that time you would think a person would be at their best behavior, but it's obvious his behavior is a red flag for more trobles to come! Thanks you help me!

    • You're welcome!

What Girls Said 1

  • This doesn't seem like a guy that is serious about you and you don't seem strong enough to be dating right now. Sorry, but I am a firm believer in needing to be strong within yourself before trying to get in a relationship.

    • Thank-you, I agree with you. Going to follow through on your advice