I am 18 and female.
After my first two relationships and one where a friend tried to trick me into sex I am sorta paranoid about screwing my friendships up with relationships and dating.
I've never had many friends and when I do make friends with guys they are only looking at my physical appearance not my personality generally and it hurts my feelings because I have an awesome personality and love myself. I am a creative, funny, outgoing, nerdy video gamer girl I want to be a artist and I know I'm pretty (not conceited either) but no matter how much I am myself guys ignore it and only want me as a girlfriend or for sex I feel.
So I went out of my way to make a friend, of the friend who tried to use me. This guy is a really big geek, a little overweight and nerd smart. he's not a complete shut in or anything, but what I though was just another male friend turned out to be the nicest guy I've ever met. He's very understanding and sweet, non pushy and its like meeting another me. He goes with me places and does more for me than any friend ever has. Our common interests are in a lot of things, video games, anime, food, music, etc. He likes my family, and he's not pervy or anything.
He upfront told me he liked me and that I make him happy since I was honest and nice and not a complete ass and he was very angry with his friend who also tried to screw our friendship up.
I had panic attacks and was really scared at first but finally agreed to dating him. We are going slow unlike my past relationships too, I'm not kissing or anything anytime soon. He's fine with it he says
Its just I'm scared I'll screw up everything or I'll be screwed over to the point it kills me. I mean I am not insecure with him or anything, we go days without seeing eachother and barely text but we're still close. And its non flirty its just like we're best friends with hugs.
We don't need eachother but its cool to hang out and we tell eachother everything literally.
I'm scared of being clingy or insecure though deep down and fucking everything up.