How to make yourself feel better/special when dating a natural flirt?

I've been told by other people that I myself am a flirt when I don't even know why people say that because I don't even initiate conversations with others. Yet, this man whom I am seeing for a month seems to be a natural flirt. He talks to literally everybody as a friendly gestures. He calls all the women "baby", "sweetie", and "honey" etc. just like how he calls men "big guy" and "young man".
He doesn't seem to think he's flirting though. He was like, "See? Once I started talking, they all started flirting with me. It's crazy." And I just rolled my eyes and said, "That's because YOU STARTED flirting with them first. Duh..." He said he wasn't - it's just a way to get people to do things faster for him and he's "not even interested in those people in that way". He's in his late 40s, so I somehow understand why he does that since I know quite some people in their late 40s or 50s who would do the same thing - I'm always being called "honey", "sweetie pie", "beautiful", "sweetheart", "little' angel", and even "little' princess" by others. And I know it doesn't even mean anything. It's not like they are hitting on me or whatsoever, but it just doesn't make you feel good when "the supposed to be your man" calls other women sweet names right in front of you. Like, what's your problem? Am I dead or what? I'm standing right here. It feels disrespectful, but at the same time, logic kicks in and tells myself that it's just how he talks because he'd be flattering men too. I haven't seen him doing anything physical so far (which I'm glad), but a woman did reach out to touch him on his waist once and I got upset because that's just not right. We talked about that; he said he didn't know why she did that and he apologized.
I know I am good and I have other guys who like me, so it's not like I feel bad about myself or am afraid to lose him, but I have a need to know and feel that I'm special to him, and I'm not feeling it when he flirts with everyone right in front of me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Do you guys work together or something?

    That's not flirting. That's called being The Man. The cool guy who's chill with everyone. You feel the way you feel because the dude is The Man. It helps if there is something that he ONLY calls you.

    • I know. That's the thing - he has called me all these different names, and half of which (including the ones he uses the most) I have heard him calling other women. I know he's just being the man as you said. I have heard from other men why they do that. So yes, I guess I'm well informed about this whole flattering thing. But sometimes it just really makes you not want to respond, like when he just said to the cashier, "Thank you, sweetie", and then turned around and asked you, "so you ready for some good foods, sweetie?" Like, so the cashier and I are the same? It's just a weird feeling. And no, we don't work together.

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    • Would it sound stupid or offensive to tell him that I don't want him to call me these names that he uses on others? I mean telling him calmly, not accusing him or anything. He then will either need to come up with something new with me or stop using them with others, at least when I am around. Right?

    • He can't stop. How can he?

      Best he can do is make up something unique for you, yes. I'm shocked he hasn't already.

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