This is a weird question about body image for Guys (Girls input too would be good :) )?

Okay, so recently I had to go into a rehab center for my anorexia and gain a lot of the weight back. Im average and It looks awkward now, but Im trying to work out as much as I am allowed to. I've recently been talking to an old high school crush/friend that I haven't seen since graduation (when I was still severely underweight) and he wants to meet up soon. How do I go about this, saying that I'm not skinny and pretty anymore? Its kind of hard to bring up...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey. I'm sure he'll like you better now that you're healthier. I'm sorry, but being nothing but skin and bones (severely underweight because of an eating disorder) is not attractive to most people. Also, I'm not sure if you should meet up with him, especially if you're hoping that it'll turn into something more. It seems like you're at a stage of your life where you're better off focusing on yourself and becoming healthy again. And, you should probably go see a therapist considering that you still seem to idealize the anorectic body type which isn't healthy. I hope you get better soon.

    • thanks, I'm not sure what I want now, I know I'm healthier I just feel awkward, but thank you so much

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    • That's okay, and no problem. Good luck :)

    • yeah i know, its not cute to gross people out...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • First of all, you don't need to bring it up the first time you meet up. That can be discussed at a later date if you determine that you are interested in going further.

    You obviously have a long way to go with adjusting your body image. From an outside male perspective, going from anorexic to a healthy weight is not "I'm not skinny and pretty anymore". When you're anorexic you AREN'T pretty to other people, you look unhealthy and it alarms people, makes them nervous, and turns them off. Putting on weight until you're healthy makes you look BETTER to people who aren't anorexic. If I was interested in a girl suffering from anorexia, I'd be MORE attracted to her after she put some weight back on and I'd be MORE likely to want to date her.

    • thanks, i hope you're right

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    • i know, my perception is that i just am in a weird place right now and its uncomfortable, I'm not sure, but yes I've been maintaining for a while so I'm going to try. counselors don't help much after a while

    • But the counselors provide a safety net until you're rock solid. Even if you don't feel like progress is being made, it's better than regressing.

  • Talk to a psychologist. This is a tad too sensitive for this place.

    • thanks, i just want an honest answer though you know?

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    • no you're fine, i didn't see you at the bottom. Thank you. Don't feel awkward at all. I got out 4 months ago and I've been maintaining, but its still weird, and i don't know who to ask. Noone is going to tell me the truth around me because they are all supposed to be "supportive" you know, i think i can handle it, but i do appreciate you caring. really, i know I'm a little crazy

    • I'm sorry :(

  • What are your height/weight stats now?

  • you are sexy as long as you aren't massively over weight or anorexic to me

  • Well, tell him you beat anorexia.

    • how? I know its weird but I don't want to just come out and say I was crazy...

    • Work this line into literally ANY conversation; "Wow guy, bla bla bla bla, and I feel so much better since i beat anorexia." Make it simple. Guys, at least most of the guys I hang out with, are't attracted to scrawny gals. A woman is supposed to have curves yo.

    • haha thanks :) ill do my best

What Girls Said 3

  • Just go. You have to explain nothing. Besides, I'm sure you're at a more healthy weight and still look pretty..even though it doesn't feel so

  • I saw your weight on the other guy's comment. You're still pretty and skinny. Don't beat yourself up over it. Be kinder to yourself =)

    Your thinking that you're now no longer skinny and pretty anymore comes from your anorexia. That association of weight gain = not pretty is still there in your mind.

    You don't need to tell him anything. If he doesn't ask, just don't say anything. Chances are you'd still look great, and that's what he'd be focusing on: how great you look.

  • okay.. i was an anorexic too.. I'm still in recovery.. but like if you were 80 pounds and they made you get up to like a 100.. your not over weight

    • Im so happy you're getting better... they did worse Im average :( but thank you, i hope you stay in recovery good job :)

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    • it means grossly 5'2 115 like directly average...

    • thats like the right amount of weight though for you.. your just still dealing with the psychological aspects of it