Sending a girl a message about feelings, good idea or bad idea?

I had been seeing a girl for about a month, things went to fast and she pulled back, after we kept contact and things seemed the same, then she just stopped responding. I've waited about a week and a half and I really want to send a message to her saying that I don't care about jumping into a relationship and that I just want to start over and get to know each other better, does this seem like a good idea or should I just play it cool and act like nothing happened?

I just worry that she doesn't know how I really feel and it sucks to not know where we stand with one another.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm a bit confused. So how would she not know how you really feel? Especially if she was the one that pulled back?

    • she may think i'm trying to push her into a relationship when really I just want to get to know her better, so I feel like we aren't on the same page

    • Show All
    • yeah i guess I didn't see the signs, I tried to be mature about it, but I just felt dumb for having cared so much about someone that would do that. I'm happy now though, I feel like I'm free or something

    • Well, we all do that at some point, I think. Wishful thinking, I suppose. Definitely for the best, though! :)

      And thanks for MH!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I would send her a message and be up front and honest. I would just say "where do we stand" then you will get your answer and know if you should move on or not

  • Bad, just call her up


What Guys Said 1

  • It could go either way. However, personally, I would not. Typically, silence and a failure to communicate is indicative of complete disinterest or a lack there of, especially if it's sudden.

    Having said that, I cannot recall associating with anyone or hearing of any instance of a person whom began a withstanding, satisfactory relationship with a someone after being brushed off after only weeks of getting to know the person. Can you?

    Introspectively, like many people, I pulled back and stopped contacting and conversing with dates whom I had a moderate level of interest in from the get go and/or when I met someone whom I had a high level of interest in. It's why, if I were you, I would not contact her.

    Be that as it may, contacting her may make you appear persistent and eager to her and/or give you an immediate answer. On the other hand, you may appear as the guy who seemingly can't take a hint to her. Thus, prolonging and increasing your disappointment if she does not answer or return your call.

    In any event, if you decide to contact her, expect the worst and hope for the best.