Pressured and scared, please help?

Well I recently found out the guy I like asked me out on a date and that he confessed that he liked me. I confessed back by saying me too. The problem is, I know I'm kind of scared of relationships more and I want my parents to really like him. My parents don't really care much about my love life until I graduate college. I just want to know like what should I do since I'm kind of scared of them? I want to know him more too, since we haven't hung out a lot since he lives in a different town and he's busy as well. The only time we hang out is at like school, so I see him four times out of the whole week in classes. I don't date much but when I do date, I feel a lot of pressure from guys. Most of them in my opinion when we first start dating want physical intimacy like hugs and hand holding as well as kissing on first date. I hope the guy I like isn't like that. I understand if he wants to hug or hold hands and kiss but I'm not ready to take that step for kind of a long time. I usually like taking my time in these relationships. Should I tell him or what? We have a date this coming weekend. I'm also really surprised that he confessed and likes me, sometimes I wonder why does he like me? I really hope he is a nice guy that won't expect too much in beginning. The other dates I told you about where I felt pressured, they were nice but I felt no spark and I knew they wanted some type of physical intimacy. I think I'm just not ready until I really trust him and feel something. I do feel something for Matthew which is half the battle, the other battle in my opinion is trust and time since we haven't hung out a lot. We've known each other for like a semester which is only a couple months, so sometimes I wonder if it's going too fast. I was really surprised though that he liked me because it did not seem like he did other than a friend. I was also really surprised when he chatted with me online and said sweet things.


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What Guys Said 1

  • What exactly is your question?

    • Will a guy be mad at me if I'm not comfortable with kissing or hugging them just yet on the first date? I really want to get to know him more. I do like him, I just don't want to go too fast. That was the question because I know with other people I've dated, I've felt pressured to do things I did not want to do.

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    • Oh okay, so If I don't kiss him on the first date, it would seem like I'm not attracted to him or interested to him?

    • Normally. Certainly by second.

      You're going to have to open your mouth and talk. They may not be willing to wait around on the off chance you might want to get physical one day, but some guys might be. But they need to know you actually like them or there's no reason to even consider it.

What Girls Said 1

  • SLOW DOWN. It's JUST a date! When the right guy comes along, you will want to do those physical things. Know what else the right guy will do? He'll respect you when you've reached your limit and ask him to stop. Here's some advice for you regarding your parents. . . you don't have a happy life by making them happy. The guy they think is right for you, may be totally wrong, and vice versa. You do what makes YOU happy, and if you can make them proud at the same time, that's great. If not, too bad, you have to be true to yourself.

    • Thank you for that awesome advice. I know friends tell me to stop thinking so much and you're right. I just want to have fun on the date and have no expectations of physical intimacy right now and I know some of the guys that I went out with first wanted to kiss and hug, but I didn't want that just yet. Thank you.

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    • Any man will have only so much patience, before he may just cut his losses and look elsewhere. Where that limit is, however, is different for everyone. To be perfectly honest with you, if you won't let a guy give you a hug at the end of a date, that's sort of a slap in the face to him. . . the nature of a date is inimate, romantic, he'll feel like a 'buddy' or like you're probably not really that interested. My guy snuck his first kiss at the end of our 2nd date. If you're being honest about your age, most men in our age range will probably move at about the same pace as my guy did.

    • I'm in the lower half of the age range and yeah I think that may somewhat true. I do think you may be somewhat right about the hugs and hand holding. I think I'm really interested, I guess I'm just nervous. As for the kiss, I'm not sure I want to go that quick because we haven't seen either much unless it was at school. But thank you for your advice and your honesty. I greatly appreciate it.