How to tell my parents about my long distance relationship if my Mom is critical on everything?

I am 21 (turning 22 next week) and from America; and my girlfriend turned 19 two months ago, and is from the Philippines. We meet in the comment section on a YouTube video. Her comment was about her ex breaking up with her; and I really understood her and replied back to it. Since then, we been messaging each other for about 2 weeks. Until we finally added each other on Skype and Facebook, and discovered what we were looking for in a significant other was in each other. We fell in love and started a LDR. We stay dedicated to talking to each other every day and making each other smile, reading the Bible together, and sending letters to each other. Her mom approves of me because she wants her daughter to be happy; but I know my Mom won't.

My Mom is ALWAYS critical to everything me and my sister did growing up. She would judge and criticize everything we done, and would tell us what we should do. Then if we did what she wanted us to do, she would STILL have a critical opinion on it. I always call her out on it, but she always denies it! I love my Mom, but I can't stand it when she opens her mouth and spouts out her drivel! I just want her to shut up for once and listen to me!

Anyways, I want to take my relationship with my girlfriend to the next level and tell my parents about it because someday, she wants to come to America to see me; but how do I go around telling my Mom about it if she is going to be critical about it? I know my Mom thinks I won't be happy in the end, and she always wants me to find a "nice, white, Christian girl" locally. I HATE those girls! They're mean and selfish, and they treat me like I'm second-rate! They're nothing like my sweet Filipino girlfriend! I want my Mom to understand I AM happy, we have a strong relationship on God, and we love each other!

I told my Dad already. He liked her and thought it was okay for me to be in a long distance relationship. Even he told me not to tell my Mom because she was too critical!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Keep it a secret because you still rely on her for financial support and living in her house. She might cut you off if she finds out.

    • That is a good point, but actually, I have more money than them. They technically need more than I need them because I am the one who takes care of their foster children when they need it, and I am the fallout guy when they need money. I can't keep this secret forever. It's gotta come out eventually.

    • oh well, that gives you some power over how they should behave. Tell them. :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • don't tell her

  • Don't.

    Why do you need to tell them? Wait until the relationship is not longer long distance to tell them, or do you plan on having a long distance relationship for the rest of your life? Eventually it won't be long distance i'm assuming, and then you call tell them about your relationship. In the meantime why do you need to tell them? Just keep that information to yourself.


What Guys Said 3

  • you should stop letting ur mother rule ur life
    when u left home they stopped having control of u
    live ur life not the life ur mom wants u to live

    • Well, she doesn't "run" my life. I do what I want, but she always nags and judges, and criticizes every action I do. I still live at home because my parents need me to assist them in foster care and financial payments.

  • LOL DUDE I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! hahhahahha, so obvious!!!
    anyways, just keep the relationship quiet, be respectful and try ur best to please ur parents but mainatain ur independence and STAY STRONG!!! This is a test from GOD DA AWESOMENESSS ALMIGHT OH YEAH himself aight dude? be patient and things shall EXPLODE!!! WOOT WOOOOTTT PARTTTYYY!!!

    • First off, I really like your enthusiasm and optimism towards God, but I seriously have no clue who you are. I have no friends or affiliations from this website; and this is the first time I logged onto this site in almost a year. There's no way we ever encountered if your profile says you joined three weeks ago. But I digress, keeping it quiet sounds nice, but how am I going to explain to everybody who the foreign girl is when she comes to America to see me? Of course I am going to stay strong, but nobody is going to agree with me!

    • ... listen dude, i believe you. ANYWAYS, why do you care? If you really love her, why should you give a damn about what others think?

    • oh by the way , i'm not saying i know u in real life, i'm saying that i might know ur profile username... come on, do u really have to be annonymous? look at me, i'm a Asian ninja troll and i still haven't gotten banned!

  • You don't have to tell her everything.

    • and lie and make things worse? Lying is one thing, but deceiving everyone is WORSE. She will need the whole truth eventually.

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