Talking to and Dating someone who wants to date others?

So, I'm talking to this girl. We seemed to have clicked really well in the beginning. And have gone on a few dates, but due to my hectic work schedule, there's not a lot of time for socializing.
We've been talking generally through text or Skype and have both expressed how attracted to each other we are. Tonight she asked me if she got asked out on a date from another guy would it be OK to say yes? And i advised her that we weren't dating and that I didn't own her so do as she wishes, to which she replied ok, thanks. Should I be bothered about this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not at all but I can see your not comfortable by her response to your reply so in other words are you jealous? Thinking a how could she and what might they be doing? If yes, than you could have answered her honestly that way you can see her reaction but since you said it was alright than she probably thought it was okay but now you dont know if she was really okay with time let her know you will likee to date exclusively because if you dont...things might get cofusing and frustrating in a while...

    • Guess my mentality is I was a little offended... If she was that into me she wouldn't be worried about other men... I know I don't have a right to be offended because we're not together, but can't help from feeling slighted by the question and the situation... She went to a party last night and a guy asked her out and that's why she approached me with it...

    • Well dont give yourself a headache because the way i see it is her wanting to see your reaction, why would she be like, yea i got hit on this cool party last night so what do i do? It sounds like she's seeking the answer to her question. ..are you into her as much as she is to you? Think about it. If she didn't like you she wouldn't had mentioned it at all but since she cares about your reaction to it and she doesn't know where she stands with you she acts naive so that yoy can step into the role and be like, hell no! Your mine girl! You crazy thinking your single...i thought we had soethong going on p.s. in this scenario she would had seen your real feelings for her. Acting unmoved will get you both nowhere

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • No, not really. U already made the claim that it's ok and she can do it bc ur not committed. Does it bother u now? When u are ready for a committed relationship make sure u are very clear on the terms for seriousness and what u expect of each other, if u guys get there at all. Just communicate well so there's no confusion when the time comes. 😉


What Guys Said 2

  • You shouldn't be bothered about it because she specifically asked if you would be.

    If you are, then you should have said so in the first place or at the very least, you should do it as soon as possible.

  • With what aspect?

    Is she necessarily planning to do so or giving you a theoretical question in order to test you?

    I'd suspect there's a difference between the heart and the head here. The latter is drowning in the societal gunk, about how one should act around women. That one should game-play, appear cool and indifferent, that being perceived as being clingy is the worst fate that could befall you.

    What do you actually want? Do you want her? Because the right course of action might be the one that goes against society's understandings and 'intuitions' about these sorts of things. Maybe she was trying to glean if you were in fact interested? Maybe she wanted you to 'step up', as they say, but instead, the test got the better of you, it wrong-footed you and made you jealous.

    Women like men who know what they want and aren't weakly passive and effete. If you want her, then unleash the passion and the fire, stop being so cautious. Be like a lion taking down his prey. Do you want her to get with someone else? You're just going to sit around and wait for things to take shape of their own accord? How well has that worked out in the past for you, particularly with regard for women?

    If you're too busy, or not interested, then fair enough. but as I say, what do you want? Make a decision. Find that fire in you, stop being so deathly afraid of making a mistake. If she rejects you, then least you tried, it's not the end of the world.