This girl is really confusing me right now by how she's acting...?

To sum it up, I really like this girl and she feels the same way. However, her parents don't want her to be in a relationship and to focus on school- and she respects her parents' wishes. So she later asked me to 'be friends'. At first I was hesitant and told her 'I can't be friends with someone I have feelings for'. She seemed upset by this, her and her friends started to ignore me on campus for a week. I asked a female friend for advice, and she told me that she was most likely hurt by what I said. So I sent her a heartfelt apology summarized that I was willing to put my feelings aside for a friendship- and to come to me when she's ready to 'date'.

So, I was studying at a study area on campus and her and her friend passed by 'pretending not to notice me'. Whatever, then later her friend came by smiling and strikes up a conversation with me about pretty much nothing. I see her later and I say Hi and try to strike up a conversation and while she is smiling, she seems distant, and really awkward. She's a really shy girl if that matters.


Most Helpful Girl

  • better watch that "Friend".. as for the girl you like.. sounds like you made it hard for her to choose between her family and you.

    You shouldn't have to put your feelings aside because someone doesn't agree to them.. but on the other hand, being friends is where any relationship should start - and to her, you saying that, "'I can't be friends with someone I have feelings for" that says I only want to fuck her.

    Being friends is where most girls like to start, it shows you're not only out to screw - and with her being in a 'strict' family; being friends would be understanding on your part. It shows you respect her values and family. Saying what you did, didn't just upset her, but actually showed her who you truly are inside.


    • Ah man, the thing is that is totally not what I am on the inside! I appreciate her for her, , but I took it the wrong way because I've heard when a girl wants to be 'friends', they either are not interested in you; stupid that I thought that when it's clear that she is. I read it completely wrong and acted irrationally..

      And her friend, is their anything I should pay attention to?


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    • You're welcome. :) hope it works out.

    • Late, but it's cool now we're friends and I'm totally fine with that. She said she can't honestly see me more than friends, and don't wait for her to change her mind about dating. But she's a nice girl, and to think about it I wasn't into her sexually if that makes sense. So being friends is something I had resistance to at first but it's not bad. I'll get better with girls, earn a new female friend, and all. Told her in person that she's the best for that- first girl I've dated, I've heard OF many girls lead guys on and let them wait around for them when they really don't want them, and I totally respect that from her. Makes me want to change myself for the better, becoming more assertive, etc. which I think is great. And her friends are now open to me as well, so it's all good. Thanks for the advice!

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think that she needs to get her head out of her ass. I get her being hurt when you said you couldn't be friends but she has to understand how you feel. She's being stupid and listening to her parents which she needs to move on from and stop acting like a child and knows you have feeling it's cruel

    • Yeah, the context of it though is her family is really strict so they don't really have a choice about that. its so confusing the way she's acting now.. I'm going to pursue other girls in the meantime, and I told her when she wants to 'date' to come to me..

    • Good for you I don't care how strict her parents are it's her life

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