How to confront a guy over messaging without being or coming across as a b*tch?

I'm talking to a guy currently overseas for work. In the beginning of our relationship he wasn't completely honest with me and I'm pretty positive he lied to me about a couple things. He also hurt my feelings at one point. When we got on good terms again I was happy and kinda brushed off what happened, but now it's bothering the crap out of me. I realized I don't trust him, and because we are not in a relationship I don't know where we stand or what I am to him. I really genuinely like him a lot, but I have to look out for myself. I don't want to just end things so I know I need to talk to him. Because we can only communicate over messaging I don't want it to sound mean or rude. What are ways to go about confronting him and sharing my feelings?


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  • using the phrase "this is how I feel" and "I feel like" are always good bc it doesn't blame the person but instead puts it on you. you should write out what you want to say and edit it until it sounds like how you want it to and maybe have a friend read over it for their opinion. you could also tell him how you feel and why you're telling him by saying something like "I'm telling you this because I like you and don't want to be angry or ruin thins and I want us to have a good start." be careful about not wording it or having it come across like you're pushing for something more. but my best advice is to write out what you truly honestly want to say and just continue revising it until it's nearly perfect. and also adding that you do genuinely like/care about him might help :)

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