Should I totally quit talking to this guy?

I'm a 21 year old virgin. My first and only boyfriend dumped me three months ago for not having sex with him, and I was heartbroken. He was the classic "nice, genuine, amazing guy" and he ended up treating me like a jerk. I've just recently started to get over it. Anyway, 2 weeks ago I ended up drunkenly making out with a really hot guy. I didn't contact him afterwards but he added me on Facebook, chats with me, texts me and has asked me to go running with him, and also to meet up with him when I go downtown with my friends on weekends but I have just been living my own life and have been too busy for any of that. I accidentally ran into him the week after we made out and we ended up talking for an hour, but that's all that happened. This past week he asked me to go with him and his dog to a nature reserve, and I happily accepted, but he "slept through" it, which I'm not sure I believe. He texted me Friday night, while I was really drunk, and I ended up going over to his apartment and spent the night. All we did was make out, but the clothes did come off. I realize that this guy probably just wants sex from me, but he's not going to get it. I guess he might think that I'm easy, and I hate thinking that especially since I've only made out with a few people in my life and barely gone further(right before I was dumped by my ex..) He was also sober both times we were together and I feel like that kind of makes him a douche.

1) Should I totally quit talking to this guy? Why would he ask me to hang out if that's all it was? At the same time, I don't want to sell myself short and keep hooking up with him. I don't want to be somebody's booty call, I want to find a man who will treat me right...but it seems like since I'm not ready for sex I'm just not going to find that anytime soon.

2) Guys, how do I find a guy who will want me for me and not just sex(and who will wait as long as I need to have sex!) Am I just dreaming?


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) Yes. I don't know why so many girls hang on to guys as "friends". It doesnt' go anyway and most the time the break ups are pretty hard on you. Just forget this guy and disconnect yourself from him. I guess I am feeling a little somber tonight so I am empathetic. This guy is an asshole and will always be an asshole.

    2) That's a difficult question and I wish I could give you a straight answer. Hold out for it. I would say look for a guy's actions more than his words. I don't mean the big stuff, I mean the little things he notices and does for you. Especially the stuff he does when you aren't looking or thinks you aren't looking. Don't let a few bad eggs make you think the carton is aweful.


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What Guys Said 3

  • 1) I think his asking you out to go running, a nature reserve etc... does not make him seem like an asshole, and don't forget you blew him off on several occasions prior when he had asked you out, so I wouldn't judge him for missing one date. Even when you went round to his house drunk, he didn't take advantage of you, so it would seem to me that he does want more than sex.

    2) I'm not going to lie, many guys want sex. Its an important part of a relationship and so yes many will get frustrated by the lack of it, not necessarily because their assholes, but maybe because they don't feel that you are truly committed to the relationship. But that's not to say that you can't find a guy who will wait, and contrary to popular belief there are a lot of guys who want to have more than sex in a relationship.

  • how do you know one day your not

    gonna be like really drunk and just do him?

  • i guess if a guy really into you he will wait for the right moment and when you'r ready to have sex and not just pushing it and making pressure on you to do it with him anytime soon.

    some guys will wait and stick around you if they want more than sex..


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