Any guys who have commitment issues? Or girls who have experienced it?

The guy I like is afraid of commitment because of an abusive ex he broke up with 8 months ago (we have that in common). Things are fine with us in person he acts like he likes me, we have "moments." But he makes plans with me even saying things like, "I'm determined to hang out with you! I've put this off for too long." But that same day we had plans, he didn't text me back. He hasn't texted me at all in over a week actually. But he still follows me at work and makes sure to see me before I clock in, hugs me, etc.

So my question is, how do I maneuver this? I know I need to be patient and wait, but in regards to him blowing me off what do I say? Should I just be like, "Hey if you're not ready to hang out with me yet, it's okay I understand. I'm patient, I can wait. I'm not expecting anything, I just like spending time with you."

He's a wonderful guy. I completely adore him so I'm willing to put in some time, I just don't want to say the wrong thing.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I think there's nothing wrong with you reassuring him but at the same time don't let him take advantage. Yes, you're understanding but your patience will run thin sooner or later. You both have emotional baggage but you're willing to try again with someone new and you deserve someone who's willing to take a chance with you as well.

    • My emotional baggage happened years ago and I've been dating since it happened. I've pretty much worked through it all and for me all it took was one person who was there for me. So that's why I'm asking. I need to find a balace of not being taken advantage of and patient and I don't kniw how to go about it.

    • Show All
    • Okay thank you! I talked to his friend about it and he told me that any type of commitment makes him nervous because of his ex. He's already extremely shy and awkward so it's like a triple whammy.

    • Oh that sounds complicated. Hopefully, you can help him overcome his trauma but if you can't don't beat yourself over it. Not all nice guys are meant to be kept as a boyfriend.

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