Am I over reacting or should I proceed with extreme caution?

Background Story: In college 5 years ago I used to hang out with Adam. We got along great and had sex quite a bit however, he wasn't looking to get a serious girlfriend at that time during college. I respected that and moved on and starting dating a guy whom I had been in a relationship for the last 4 years with. That ended back in September.

Around Christmas/New Years Adam started randomly contacting me but I didn't think much of it. This went on randomly up until February . In February it became more of a daily thing that I would hear from him. During the course of December until now Adam has apologized 3 times for what happened in college etc.

Things have gotten more serious within the last few months. We text daily, snapchat quite a bit and have a few phone conversations here and there. We have been on 6 dates and hung out in group settings.

We hung out this past weekend and his phone went off a few times but I didn't think much of it until I went home. I did some research and realized that one of his snapchat frequent people is a girl from a nearby town. Immediately I jumped to conclusions thinking he was going to screw me over again by being a player. Up until this point we hadn't had sex and he said that he was showing me that it isn't about that this time and he wanted to take me on dates etc. So from my standpoint everything is going well. I just didn't understand what he could be snapchatting this other girl so frequently about.

I can't get too mad because I have other guys practically throwing themselves at me and asking me on dates but I haven't gone for any. I have wanted to be respectful of Adam.

So am I over reacting? Is this normal for a guy to still talk with other girls during the beginning of dating someone? Maybe I should be giving other guys more of a chance too then versus closing off to everyone but Adam.


Most Helpful Guy

  • if he can date others so can you. either way i would be wary of adam. a zebra doesn't change it's stripes

    • I agree. I don't know if he is dating others or not but she is one of his frequent people on there. He told his friends and some of our mutual friends that he is looking to settle down. At what age or maturity level do guys start to look for something serious?

    • Show All
    • I would gladly do that but then I feel like i'm overstepping boundaries since we aren't "official". I can't tell him who he can/cannot talk to if we aren't in a relationship. This is so frustrating. My feelings are getting wrapped up in him and I just am so scared of getting hurt again.

    • what i said before is a response to him telling you he wants to settle down.

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  • I always exercise caution. Specially with a guy you've had a history with.