Do you think it's even possible to have work friends on any level?

[Anonymous]

When did you realize that the professional person versus the real person is an actual dichotomy that exists?

People act unprofessional at jobs, so i thought that they were showing their real selves. But even in those cases, its not the real them. Its an unprofessional-professional version of the person.

You really don't know who others REALLY are if you know them in a professional setting. The dichotomy is not imaginary. It just is.

Therefore, work friendship or whatever you want to call the camaraderie, is very fictional/flimsy

Updates:

[Anonymous]

Normally when a company says, "we are like family" you should barf in your mouth because that's usually a lie, but one of the best jobs I ever worked was where everyone really was like family/friends. I'm talking we partied on the weekends, mostly all played on the company softball team, we had a local restaurant down the block from our job that everyone went to, we routinely participated in group events like movies and picnics, I was the bridesmaid in one of their weddings, we all went to house warming parties and bridal/baby showers----I mean it was really fantastic.

This wasn't a small company either---there were like 75 employees. Because of this camaraderie it was easy to work together especially in the stressful times at work and there was a lot of trust in each other that people weren't out to get you, but actually wanted you to succeed in an outside of work. I would say the reality is this was the "unicorn" experience because in probably 90% of all work environments, people are putting on a face at work and don't really care for their fellow employees outside of the office if that.

[jennifer_bloom]

I know friends you meet outside of any socially committed circumstance are more casual meaning you can discuss your personal life and your failures and act immature and dumb and careless - but I actually do not enjoy friendships where there is no sense of sacrifice involved and or where I am given unlimited acceptance. I loved making friends in university and respectfully greeting people at work - even though our relationships were almost never deep or emotionally tight because the respectability of being held accountable for my behaviour and being able to collectively serve a cause and social expectation outside of my own frame of reference gave my life a meaning and significance that no friend or boyfriend has ever been able to duplicate for me. Nothing satisfies more than purpose and responsibility and this is why I don't mind making friends at work - even if your friendships are not emotionally free or secure.

[Floppy2112]

You used to be able to have friends and even maybe date people from work, but not anymore. Heck, many people in previous generations used to meet and get married from work relationships. Now it's a threat to one's livelihood. It's what women wanted. and METOO put the nail in the coffin. Most men don't even want to be around women at work anymore. The consequences of even an allegation is too great to mess around with. It's just best if men and women do not commiserate at work. Why risk your job over a co-worker?

[ChrisMaster69]

Depends on sector and raft of other stuff.

watching friends blown up, facing similar risks, etc etc

tends to make things like work friendships very really and for life

think of fishermen facing death every day they are out, they face the same dangers all the time.

I know from my personal experience the statement in the questions is wrong.

for some office jobs and other stuff, yeah will hold true, but not across the board,

[heatherlou]

Some people are strictly colleagues who you are polite and professional to.
Some are work friends - who you share joke with at work and they help keep you sane; they're your drinking buddy on work nights out.
And a rare few become actual friends. I have a couple over my life than have managed to move into this category. doesn't happen often but is in no way impossible.

[bulletbob555]

I haven't worked for almost 10 years now. I really wish I had some kind of activity so I could still meet people. When we are younger its school. Not all people at work are actually your friends they may just be being nice to be socialable.

[Drooogie4]

Honestly a good chunk of my favorite people alive have been or currently are coworkers.

[sheikalana]

I'm not sure I always keep things strictly professional and in the end I'm not there to make friends. I think it also depends on what type of job you have and what type of environment you work in.

[Anonymous]

No. People at work are fake, they end up talking about each other behind their backs.
Which is why I don’t really like talking to people at work

[jamesgoldman]

Depends on how professional the work environment is

Only place I worked was full of degenerates

[NitroExpress]

You've just defined what a casual friend is.

[Jamie05rhs]

SO true.