How do I know what's in my control?
The primary thing out of your control that people assume is within their control is expecting others to change. If you can't directly cause the result you wish, without the actions of others involved, it is out of your control. You can influence, but not control, others. You can't control the weather, but you can choose to prepare for it and dress accordingly. Take action rather than wait around for others to do the action you expect of them. You can get bent out of shape if you need a hug and your partner isn't reading your mind and hugging you, or you can reach out and hug your partner. As you can see, the more you are in control of your situation (not others), the greater the likelihood of you achieving your desired effect.
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Overthinking is bad? Why?
It leads to added stress and assuming you know a situation or blowing it out of proportion because u allowed your thoughts to lead you to point thats not true