What do you think of my short poem?

**Note: It's copyrighted, please ask for permission before using**

Crimson. Warm. Fluid. Like blood, you swarmed through my crooked veins. You pumped inside of me like a melodious harmony, thrusting life into me. I remember days of endless sunsets & the musk of twilight tantalizing my nostrils.

Bursting. Throbbing. Jutting. Like a bloody rose, you sprung up through my beating heart. I can still feel being cracked wide open with laughter & standing over the brooding storm clouds.

Tender. Soft. Fleshy. Like a twittering sparrow, you shivered through me. You plagiarized the melody in my soul & waltzed through my ears like a beautiful sonata. I can still hear its echoes haunt my musings in the nighttime.

Cold. Frozen. Forgotten. Like a dream hours after one has awakened. I set free the longing to soar into the sunrise. I will remember no more the beautiful nightmare that haunts my melancholy mind. But like a phantom dancing in the sunbeams, I forget to unremember my hearts very beating.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't criticize because I know nothing about poetry. Is it cool for a guy to write poetry though? I wonder...


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Didn't read it entirely... but yeah kudos for the effort

  • Good try. Go back to school.

    • Asshole. I have two bachelor's degrees thank you very much.

    • Show All
    • I have four associate in addition, which i don't recommend by the way.

    • and I have two professional certifications, including a health coach and a children's book writing one.

  • It's not too bad but did not know twilight had a scent.


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