Does anyone else get pissed off when people try to tell them what to do or how to do it?

Alright so my boyfriend of five years and I got a new apartment 4 months ago. He moved his mother in last month because she's elderly and can't live on her own anymore. Since he has moved her in he has asked me to quit my job to care for her while he works. Understandable. He makes more than me so he thought it would be more suitable. I didn't quit. Though I did cut back my hours and arrange my schedule to fit around his. It sucks because we never see each other anymore but hey; its only temporary. For the past two weeks though, I have been treated as if I am a slave of the household. My boyfriend will come home and say "hey babe my mom has dishes in her room that need to be cleaned" or "hey babe my moms laundry bin is full and needs to be done" or "hey babe my mom spilt her food all over the floor and it needs to be swept and mopped up before you go to work". It has also started with household things not revolving around her. He now expects me to pick up after him as well. Anywhere from him dropping his clothes beside the hamper instead of in them and then asking me to pick them up. Him expecting me to take care of his dishes after he is done eating the meal I just prepared for him. Even me cleaning up his shaved hair after he buzz cuts or shaves his face.

He has also started to take matters into his own hands when it comes to the kids. Trying to tell me how and why we are going to do things his way and if I object to the way he wants to raise our kids or voice my opinion and compromise, he will straight out tell me no and that the decision has already been finalized.

I now feel (for the first time since my teenage years) completely stuck in a one sided traffic jam. His way goes. And I have no say on the matter. To be quite frank, I am fed up with all of it.

How do you guys feel about being told what to do with zero say in the matter?


Most Helpful Girl

  • wow, yeah that would push my buttons too...
    Tell him that you gladly took over some chores to help his mother, but that you feel that things are getting out of hand. Tell him you are done being the home slave and that he can also stop acting all ruler of the household with anything else.
    Tell him that you two need to set up a clear schedule of who does what and what is unacceptable and stick to it. Otherwise he will have to hire a nurse or whoever can come in and do that stuff. After all, it is his mother not yours and you have been doing it for free out of the goodnes of your heart.

    Do not let this continue like this. He is clearly taking advantage of the situation and does not appreciate what you do. So it is really simple. Appreciate what you do and help or hire someone. This way you have your life back as well.
    and do not feel bad about this, you are under no obligation to do any of it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm Texan, without a certain amount of authority, we don't respond to orders very well.

    You're in a crap situation and he needs a smack up the back of the head.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • I would not be able to do that. I am just patient enough to be able to handle the thing with the mother, especially since I really love elderly people, but that would be about it.
    As soon as he started to quit picking up after himself, I would say something. I am generally pretty patient and allow for quite a bit before I say anything, but this would be ridiculous to me and I wouldn't allow it.
    The stuff about how everything has to be his way would be intolerable for me. Sometimes my boyfriend can get a bit carried away with his plans for the distant future (so I know that he is basically just thinking out loud and am not worried about it), but I let him know that there needs to be compromise. I have definitely compromised a lot for him, and I expect the same from him.

  • A relationship is two halves, both need to be on the same level and power.


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