I got this:
You are a kid at heart, which is why you have an Adventure Time tattoo and carry around a kazoo. However, despite the sense of youthful wonder you extend towards all your fellow humans, you take some things very seriously, such as your job at your local concert venue/ art gallery/ community garden and your vegan, anarchist lifestyle.. You love reading Slingshot Magazine while listening to Andrew Jackson Jihad and riding through the city in a group bike ride. You eat raw garlic to boost your immune system and don't use deodorant so that you won't get alzheimers from the aluminum.
Most Helpful Girl
Congrats, you are the Tumblr Hipster! You are the person basics are referring to when they say "hipster," so you can take solace in that, even though many more experienced hipsters do not consider you a hipster at all. You have at least one japanese text shirt with floral print, as well as undercut hair and circle glasses. You call real life events "dank memes" and you refer to your friend group as "sad boys/girls." You love drinking Arizona iced tea and listening to your Lana del Rey vinyl from Urban Outfitters while talking about how overrated Urban Outfitters is.
Most Helpful Guy
Sorry to break the bad news, but are not a poser at all, my friend. You are just an easygoing, laid-back guy, just looking for the Zooey Deschanel to your Joseph Gordon-Levitt. You hate how everyone always talks about trivial, unimportant stuff all the time, and you can't stand "the Tumblr-culture" mentality and people who look for things to get offended about. You are blunt and unafraid to speak the truth and you hate small talk. You are majoring in psychology and love enlightening hot babes about Nietzsche on the porch at parties.