I didn't do what I wanted to do with my life. Is it hopeless?

From a young age I aspired to be a singer, actress or dancer. I wanted to go to America travel

At the age of 18 however (when most people start this journey) I developed severe OCD and anxiety.

I hated the thought of crowds and people so much. I attended university and just used to go there and back with my head down not interacting with anyone. Thankfully I at least got through that but I didn't do anything else to fulfil my dreams.

Now at 27 almost 28 I look at where I am. I have a law degree which I don't even like. I've achieved nothing and now I'm too old.

An old friend got in touch recently and she has a husband a child on the way, she's travelled. She was shocked when I told her I was still living with my parents and sister (currently unemployed) and haven't even left the country. I used to to go school with Zayn Malik and Melissa steel. Two famous singers now and I think of what I could have done had I not given into this OCD and anxiety.

I've had this mental illness for 10 years. No medication or therapy has helped. What can I do to improve?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not hopeless, bit will be difficult. Not because it's difficult to change at an older age. It's difficult to change old habits, to break free from your mental health and do the things you want to do. If you keep working through your ocd and focus on the goal that you want to achieve then it's possible. Nothing is impossible if you work hard, focus and do better than your best. Push higher, set achievable, realistic short term goals and complete them. You want to be a singer? You need to find your voice. You may not have used it in a long time but practice, voice exercise and training will help you to find it again. It takes time to make real progress towards what you really want to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 28 is young Take control of your life no more excuses start any job start from scratch and make plans, write it down all your goals & make REALISTIC goals.

    People get sad so quick and say their goals don't become real because they set unrealistic goals. For example It's like saying I'm going to work in a week and make $4,000 , but instead you might have to work 4-5 weeks and make $4,000... Be real with yourself.
    Dreams come true when you WORK HARD for then not sit down and complain.

    As for your friend who has a child and traveling why does it bother you? Anyone can get married as long as you have a vagina and a penis and mate have a child and travel! If marriage having a kid and traveling is your dream than FAM maybe is time to ask around for a husband!

    What I am saying is don't look at other people accomplishments we all have different dreams -goals -plans.
    Just go forward work hard and STOP comparing. The moment you start comparing you start living for other people...

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What Guys Said 32

  • It's not too late but it WILL BE SOON... and trust me regrets are THE WORST Things to have... and I don't know if u believe in God or anything but I've lived a very crazy life... done and seen A LOT... and I think the biggest sins that one could EVER COMMIT is to not nuture or use a god given or natural ability. I had a very unique voice and have uncanny boxing ring I. q. and natural ability... cigarettes have taken them away for the most part... I sincerely believe I could have been a world touring vocalist or top five contender in boxing... now after cigarettes I can only box for maybe 45 seconds then I can hardly breath... nothing hurts me more than this. Also I'm probably dying soon and it's the biggest thing that haunts me... SING SING SING SING SING... anywhere... go on the video game secondlife if your having anxiety about singing in front of people... ALSO PICK PERFECT SONG for your voice.. don't pick a song just cuz u like it... because rocking a crowd (even at karaoke) is better feeling than any drug or sexy with anyone when u know the crowd is enjoying you (even at small kareoke bar) it's unmatched by anything... but picking the wrong song for your voice and bombing on stage is the worst feeling ever... but yes... the reward of nailing a song is worth the risk of bombing when ur voice is having an off day

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  • Unfortunately This Is The Life and Times at most millennials.

    Were brought up thinking that we're trying to make an impact or that we can make some kind of big change or we should even be famous.

    Kind of a crushing realization to know that most likely that won't happen that you're just a person among many and if you do make an impact it's just within a small circle.

    I'm not saying it's too late or it's impossible you can always change your life and do what you want to do if you work the try-hard. But it won't come to you if you just sit there and ask for it you need to work for it.

    But even if you do sometimes it doesn't work out. I want to be a computer programmer and then I quickly found out then I hate programming. But fortunately I found a good job I'm pretty sure will last me for a long time but it certainly won't make an impact on society anytime soon, and I'm okay with that because I know it'll be enough to make a good life for myself and possibly a Wife and Kids when I have them.

    I'm 27 by the way I understand your general feelings.

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  • Well the problem was that medication/therapy that you took.

    Because, for instance around Russia we were ordinary teenagers had the same problems. But we had no doctors to tell us we were sick and to prescribe us drugs.

    Now I am 33, work around the world and as happy as a clown. Don't blame your anxiety and OCD these things just not exist, they were invented to put teenagers on drugs for the big pharma.

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  • 28 isn't old at all. And you have a law degree which can get you a really great job. Just because you didn't accomplish what you wanted to do at first doesn't mean you have to give up. Start looking for jobs that use that degree and use your knowledge to be great at what you do. You are better off than most people and should be able to get a good job quite easily. Never give up

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  • Grow the fuck up. You have a law degree, you are exponentially better off than most. Guess what, very rarely does anyone succeed at careers like you're talking about. You don't have to be happy but at the very least be glad accepting/Okay with what youve got.

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  • You aren't even 30 yet. But I sympathize. I'm about 80% done with my first book but I just keep procrastinating and can't seem to motivate will myself into finishing it. But nothing happens just by thinking about it. You have to take the bull by the horns and make a move, even if it's scary, especially if it's scary. You and I are in the same boat in that regard.

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  • Channel your fear and sorrows into writing songs! Foccus on texts only, and slowly learn how to do it. The best songs are about sadness, loneliness, fear or hopelessness. The first 20 might be shit, but maybe not. Join songwriting forums online, learn the craft. It's beautiful and a great challenge. And do this on the side, while practicing a regular job. It will give you balance and independence and you don't have to end up writing songs for commercials.

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  • I believe that as long as you still probe and try and hope , you will certainly succeed. Take that step forward even if you tiptoe , just look at people like Stevie Wonder, Beethoven and Susan Boyle.
    Its NEVER too late darling , just keep trying and you will succeed.
    Rooting for you😊.

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  • I'm not sure what I can tell you what the others haven't yet already

    But I stil think it's important you hear it from as many people as possible it's never to late to achieve anything if you set your mind to it

    Yes it sucks you don't like your agree and are suffering from a mental illness

    But I belief in you that you can over come it

    And if in any Possible way I could support you would gladly offer my support

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  • It's only over after you die.

    Start a youtube channel,
    buy :
    DAW (Suggestion: FL Studio)

    Microphone. (Suggestion: AT2035)

    External sound card. (Suggestion: Focusrite 2i2)

    Learn about music production, singing techniques, tech yourself an instrument and do what you love.

    And next time you feel like a failure, slap yourself.

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  • Never hopeless. And never give up on what you want to be... I promise if you go for it and it's meant to be then it will happen. If it's not meant to be then that's ok too. But you never know So as long ad you have breath in your body never give up

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  • Even if you don't like it, it's still commendable you have achieved the law career. You at least are able to support yourself and can afford to still take lessons involving your other goals on the side. Just a matter of prioritizing

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  • everybody wants to grow up rich and famous. for most of them it doesn't happen. i didn't want kids now i got 2 of them. just keep moving forward its never to late you just gotta make more of a effort dont stop pushing yourself

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  • Very scary to me considering my basketball dream was crushed by Immense Anxiety and Depression.. i'm 19

    I know how you feel... and it hurts so much.

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  • Look... It's hard, but not impossible.
    But I have to make some questions... Do you mind if I do?

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  • As far as the OCD goes I would only extend your perception and attention out so far to where you feel comfortable. Consider anything outside that boundary to be white noise and static. Anything outside of that boundary is none of your business and has nothing to do with you. Stay within your bubble as far as your attention goes and baby steps. Start off by going into a shopping mall and concentrate on your immediate surroundings. As far as traveling goes, you are never too old 2 chase your dreams and you are never too busy to take the time to do it. Remember that the world will continue to revolve life will continue to exist and your responsibilities can be temporarily given to those you trust.

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  • Hopeless? Absolutely not. Open your eyes to the wonder of life. Be thankful for every heartbeat. Look at the stars at night. Life is full of miracles. Be encouraged.

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  • You know jennifer lopez is like 50 and still singing. Youve got plenty of time to mix it up and travel

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  • You still have many years ahead of you to do all kinds of things, but you have to conquer your fear. When I was about 19 I was depressed and withdrawn, and hadn't done anything. Suicide seemed like an option. A year or two later, things started to change for the better. I got a new job, moved away from my parents (I HAD to get away from them!), did a lot of growing up, and started doing things I wanted to do, which expanded my horizons, and gave me a feeling of accomplishment and self-confidence.

    I started partying with friends from work, inner-tubing with down creeks, and I took ice skating lessons. The skating worked out well for me, because I got to where I could skate around and talk to people, or if not, I could just work on my skating moves by myself. Sometimes somebody would come over and say, "That's really cool! How do you do that move?"
    Then I'd have somebody new to talk to.

    It's just a matter of breaking out of your shell, which then expands your horizons.

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  • 28 isn't that old. At least you know what you want to do. Go out and get some lessons and get yourself out there

    Nothing changes if nothing changes

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  • U can still follow your dreams u can still travel don't let anything hold u back if u want to do it do it

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  • So you don't have as much time to develop those skills as someone who started ten years sooner, but it doesn't mean you can't have a fulfilling life or become successful. Samuel L Jackson was in his 40s or 50s before he was discovered.
    Get to youtube. Learn to sing well. Practice lots. Do the thing. Youth is nothing when it comes to talent. So you might have less marketability if you go on some horseshit like Britain's Got Propaganda, but media is changing, you don't need that stuff to make a living anymore.
    I have OCD and anxiety too, I'm not gonna lie and say I'm successful or it's easy to live with, but try anyway. You never know who'll be inspired by your example, and you'll spend a lot less time beating yourself up for shots you never took ^_^

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  • Push yourself harder then you can , do things diferent then others think diferent change your mentality, stop being sory for you making excuses...

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  • Don't think twice for whatever u want to do. Ur life will get sorted

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  • You might not have truly wanted a singing career specifically, but rather wanted to inspire emotion (which you can do through music, or any number of different things). Right now, you need assests. It might be an interesting and cathartic idea to start a blog where you write about your experience with OCD (which you could make money from).

    Remember though, music is an advertising industry, not a talent one. If you advertise a mediocre singer more than everyone else, they'll get to the top, not the truly talented. Labels do the advertising and charge you an arm and a leg for it.

    Maybe write a book to inspire emotion, you may like it. Find something that you CAN do. It doesn't get you anything to complain about what you can't do.

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  • It’s never too late! I think J. K. Rowling was around 40 when she wrote Harry Potter.

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  • You are not that old though.. You still have time

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  • Never too old to do what you want in life

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  • You still have plenty of time

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  • Lol. Do you like KFC?

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    • You can't change your self into good without smile answer.

    • Think do guys really smile at these matters I'm not like that. So you're an introvert. You made anonymous question means you don't wanna reveal yourself. It's first stage of hating yourself. Answer you are not even intrested to get an answer so you didn't answer my odd question. Better to quit finding answers in gag cutie.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I had ocd and anxiety for 11 years and one prayer changed my life forever. Now I only get anxiety about once or twice a year and moderate stress other times that is always mild and manageable.

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  • Youare too old to start a career in anything. You are at the age where you should be trying to have children with a husband or you will never be able to. If you don't want a family and have no problem being #foreveralone then you can try, but unless you have been training all these years, no company is going to want to pay to teach an old dog new tricks.

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