Opinions on my poem?

I plan on editing later, and I just now wrote it up... I'm not very good at poetry yet but hey, I'm trying πŸ˜‚

" she tears herself open
she rips open her skin, desperately trying to get rid of the pain she feels inside
the blood pours out from her wounds
the tears pour out from her eyes
she looks in the mirror
and sees a sad face with sad eyes
the sting of the blade is not match for the pain, and each cut goes deeper and deeper, her skin in tatters and her soul in pieces

fast forward one year

she looks down at the scars
she sees the pain that each line represents
she remembers the nights when the blood and the tears poured
she looks in the mirror
and sees a happy face with happy eyes
and the pain she felt then is no match for the happiness she feels now, her smile shining bright and her soul even brighter "

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As someone taking a screenwriting course, it sounds more like a synopsis with feeling.

    Still poetry, but also keep in mind that peotry has no structure. It's letting your words flow into more words as you feel is right, coming from the mind or the heart.

    I think your poem is very interesting. It's even got a nice lesson within it. It's obvious, but that's not always a bad thing. However poetry is a subjective form of art, therefore you may take what you will of other people's critiques as there is no right or wrong answer

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Most Helpful Girl

  • β˜ΊπŸ˜‹πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 2

  • I immediately stopped reading at the onset of realizing it was another poem about cutting yourself. That shit is so derivative that it destroys peoples' image of poetry.

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    • It's not about cutting myself, it's more about the change that's happened in a year and how I'm so much happier now... I write about things that hurt, things that bother me, and so of course I wrote about my journey of recovery from self harm...

    • There are better ways of expressing that.

  • It's good, I enjoyed reading it.

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What Girls Said 0

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