Can you make me laugh?

The week is dragging and I need some entertainment - I want to hear your best jokes!

It’s probably gonna be hard to top last time but you’re welcome to try 😂 cringey and clever jokes are always welcome

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off.
    A homeless man walks up to her.
    She sees the man coming and says, "Go away! There's nothing you can say to change my mind!"
    He says, "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it."
    "Absolutely not! You're disgusting!", she replies. The man turns and starts walking away.
    "Is that all you're going to say? You're not going to try to convince me that life is worth living? Where are you going?"
    "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm!", he says.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you haven't already, go to YouTube and look up the video where Chris Pratt plays Speak Out on the Ellen Show.

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What Guys Said 20

  • A blonde a brunette and a red head rob a bank. They run in to an alley to hide. They find some potatoe sacks. The cops follow them in to the alley. The kick the first bag the brunette said woof woof like a dog. Next they kick the red heads bag who said meow like a cat. Last the blondes bag the cops kick it and he said poootatoe

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  • An native American tracker is helping some detectives find a fugitive. They walk across a field and the native American puts his ear to the ground. He says 'Buffalo Come' the detectives ask "How can you tell?". The Native American replies " The ground was sticky".

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  • Dirty Memes are better

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    • How do you know when your Boyfriend is getting Fat? ... He fits into your Husbands clothes.

  • One of my favorite:Yo mamma is so fat she doesn't need the internet, because she's already world wide.

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  • I heard this one on Jimmy Kimmel. Saying your favorite band is blink-182 is kinda like saying "I'm okay with living with herpes".

    That one got me pretty good

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  • Hold up I've got a motivational qoute:

    It's not the size of the poop that matters it's how hard you push.

    Sorry.

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  • What do you call a afroamerican hooker with braces and on crutches?

    Blackndecker
    pecker wrecker

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  • I held the door for an Asian guy and he said "Sank you"... so I punched him. I couldn't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

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  • Search “We will never surrender Ted Cruz”

    You’re welcome ;)

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  • Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize?
    He was out standing on his field.

    *waits for crickets*

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  • I got a 9/11 joke but you probably don't want to hear it.

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  • Do you know what did the boyfriend volcano say to the girlfriend volcano?

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  • What's aap me @ +919742048746

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  • no go bake some cakes

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  • No..

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  • How does a female dog feel?

    BITCHIN'

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  • yeah

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  • Youtube natlie portman raps

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  • I can't

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  • There was a DWARF MAN that came into my shop and wanted change for a dollar. So I gave him change, he counted it and said there is only 95 cents here. I told him, you have been SHORT CHANGED!

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What Girls Said 0

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