I don't know what to do any longer?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter since I no longer know what to do.
My mom and me used to have a great relationship (when I was a kid), I was her golden child and there was nothing I could do wrong. I idolized her.
When I was 13 my parents got into one of their biggest fighs/conflicts ever. I am used to them fighting all the time but ussually it would get better after a couple of days/ weeks.
However this fight lasted for 4 months, my mom has quite a temper she calls names, insults, throws things and threatenes when she is in a fight. My dad had enough of her behaviour and left the house. Since my family isn't rich there was no way she could divorce my dad. She got depressed and suicidal and I was left alone with her. My sister ran of to her boyfriend and I didn't really had other people around but her.
She really lost it... and as a mother she failed in my eyes. Not because she was depressed god no, I listened to her and tried to help her and love her as much as I could, but rather because of the things she said and did, I don't think a mother should ever show her child.

Since then it could never be the same for me. Home is like a minefield. Anything could set of my mom. She dislikes me because I no longer am affectionated towards her.

She insults me (bitch, psychopath, cold hearted bitch, selfish) , gets mad at me for no real reason, for stupid reasons she doesn't talk to me for weeks, she treats others better than me, tries to punish me/push me on the verge to get a reaction but if I dare to react well you can guess. she blackmails me (" I should better kill myself since you and all the rest don't love me anymore" , " You will regret this!!" , "One day you will realize the mistake you've made you selfish lit bitch!' ).
I can' leave home right now, I need to get a degree and work. But I feel so bad at home cause I can never let my guard down. I don't know anylonger what to do...
I don't know what to do any longer?
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