Tattoos and my family. What should I do?

I plan on getting a pretty big tattoo when I'm old enough but my mom and grandparents are against them. My aunt got a small tattoo on her wrist and some butterflies and everyone freaked out, I used to agree with them on the no tattoo thing but I realized that it's not our lives and we shouldn't be so fucking concerned over it haha. The tattoo I plan on getting would be pretty large (rib cage stomach area) and seeing as I'll have to wait awhile longer to get it I'll be able to think it over and make sure it's something I'd want. I briefly brought up to my mom that I like sleeve tattoos and she responded to that with "if you get one you won't be living in this house" so I think she would react way worse with what I plan on getting. I most likely won't be living with my mom when I get the tattoo but I have no idea what to do. Risk ruining a family relationship or do what I want and what would make me happy? I plan on telling my mom that either way we are all gonna die and whatever we put on OUR bodies won't matter anymore but that's pretty risky in itself. (sidenote: sometimes when I'm out with my grandma and she sees someone with a tattoo she openly expresses herself on what she things about them. normally it's just some comments like "gross" "disgusting, never get tattoos etc)

sorry for such a long explanation.


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What Guys Said 12

  • Why do you really want one, just in spite of your family? Yeah tattoos look cool, and all that is fun. But what is the point? I have plenty of friends who want them too, and I never understood why they truly want one. It's a big decision to make, and I hope you take into consideration the choice you are planning to make.

    Cost: Plan to pay in cash.
    If you have any debts like student, car, or credit card debt that is out of hand or getting out of control, take care of that.
    Make sure you have twice the money it costs to get the tatto you want, you need back up money and a rainy day fund.
    The future, do you have Roth IRAs set up? Are your investements well? Once you get a tatto you may be tempted to get another. Make sure you are conscious about this.

    Daily life: Be expected to be stared at if it's visible. You can't control what others think about your tattoo, what it means to you can be compelled different to someone else. Do you want to be explaining what it means every second? Can you handle being ridiculed? People may limit you by the tattoos you get, there is a stereotype of people who get them and they have some truth to them. You are limiting yourself by getting a tattoo period. You can't explain or change everyone's conceptions about tattoos.

    Family: Your family doesn't approve of them, and they are your family, they want the best for you. When you think of CEOs, Doctors, Dentists, you don't see them with sleeves or a bunch of tattoos all over. Think about who you are attracting with these things, like I said above, you are limiting who and what kind of people you are going to attract.

    Your family doesn't like them, shouldn't you respect that? A tattoo doesn't define your life does it? And if it did, why would another person be drawing it on you if it was so special, wouldn't you do it yourself? Yeah we all seek validation and approval, we want to define ourselves, so instead of putting things on the outside. Change what's on the inside! Everything on the outside may change, but if nothing on the inside changes, you are the same person!

    Do you really want to pay someone you don't know hundreds of dollars to permanently stain your skin and cause you harm? Why would you willingly do that to yourself? If anything get a 6 month temporary the ones movie stars get.

    You are free to make the choice, but you aren't free from the consequences of your actions!

    I don't know, I think there's more to you than some ink. What do you think?

    Cheers!

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    • 4d

      Of course I wouldn't want one to spite my family. I love my family very much and just wish they would accept people with tattoos and accept me if I got one. I'll most likely start small and work my way on adding more to form the big tattoo if I choose too. The tattoo has meaning behind it (mainly about balance but it's hard to explain the rest.) I'll see if I can upload a picture of it. thanks for your advice:)

    • 3d

      For sure! I didn't think you did, I'm sure you have solid reasons! Just be careful! If your family really is against this, I wouldn't risk the relationship. You still have a few years to decide and I hope you think about this from as many angles as possible.

  • So, since we're all gonna die regardless of what we do, let's rape and kill everybody in our sight first, then feast on their dead corpses! "you only live once" isn't a good argument which you can tell to your mom. You need to do better than that. I've seen tattoed people with great personality, but all in all each tatt adds up to negative attitude in those who don't like it, I don't think anything can be done to change them. Instead they should realize that you aren't their property and they can't steer the ship of your life the way they want.

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  • Thats tough. if u still live under your parents roof, just respect whatever your parents want. But if u live on your own, just do it. Its your life woman.

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  • you must love pain..
    I'd say your only play would to be to wait it out, your going to be leaving in the next few years and having your own life, make the decision when your out and on your own, and I don't mean the day after you move out either.
    make good decisions, bad tattoos can be removed easier today, but that's been described as worse than getting it in the first place.. and will it look good in 60 years?
    your elders have grown up during a period of time when a tattoo was considered something trash has done/did to themselves.. marking them for life and making them a lower class citizen..
    as said in thread, dead end jobs like gas station worker, restaurant kitchen worker, Etc.
    how will it look in the old age home, neck, sleeves, full body scenes that have darkened to the point of no ability to see the original tattoo.
    self marking scarlet letter.

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  • My parents are against tattoos as well because they think I will seriously regret them when I'm older because they eventually start to fade and if I get them removed, i will have scars. So do what you want, it's your life I just thought I'd give you my parents opinions on tattoos.

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  • if your family bonds are so shallow that a tattoo can get you disowned, maybe work on the bonds first, even start working them into the decision, have them help you pick a small one and work your way up. but jumping right in with your full stomach and ribs? masochist?

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    • 4d

      the tattoo concept I've made would be too big to go on my arms so really the only option is back or stomach unless I decide to scale it down which I don't really want to do. I'm still making other tattoo concepts but the stomach one is the one I'm aiming for. I'll most likely get a smaller one just to make sure I want a tattoo done.

  • You may get skin cancer, it is not recommended. I know many who wanted but after learning about cancer they avoided it. Especially my English teacher when she was in a hospital she saw someone with skin cancer and the cause was tattoo, after that she is scared to get a tattoo and she even prohibits her children, the women who wanted tattoo in the first place.

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  • Well you are young so I would give it some serious thought until you are of age (please only get it professionally done). My parents were the same way with me but they learned to deal with it. At the end of the day it is your life and they have no right to dictate what you do with yourself once you are an adult. When the time comes I'd have a very civil conversation with them, but it sounds like you still have some years to think about it so don't worry about it just yet.

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  • start with a small, pink one in a private spot. If you like the experience then get the bigger one after you move out.

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  • Do you have a story behind the tattoo you're planning to get or is it just because you think it's cool? (plus, wait till you're 18 you're still young smh)

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    • 4d

      Nope it has meaning, I plan on adding a ton of elements that tie into my life (and make sure they will stay relevant over the years) I don't want one just because 'I think they are cool' I want one to express myself in a different way than explaining something that's difficult to explain but by looking at the tattoo you can get some insight and understanding. if that makes sense I can't really explain it.

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    • 2d

      The things with meanings you put on your body are your past, your scars, meaning that you can't forget it and you still hang on them.

    • 2d

      Its not like I'd put something bad on my body, I know it will be there forever and it will be meaningful. I see the things I would put on my body as a way to move forward and just a reminder of good things to come (with some stuff about balance) so we have a different view.

  • You parents just don't want you to look like a trashy whore, who will never get a job better than a gas station attendant.

    You should take their advice

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    • 4d

      it'll be a tattoo nobody would see, unless I'm in a bikini. So basically it's sorta reserved for a special person in a way? and it won't interfere with work.

  • I personally am against tattoos but if you want to get one make sure it's in a place where people can't see when you are in public. that way you can have one without attracting the negative connotation.

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What Girls Said 4

  • got same problems. got now 2 tattoos, one pretty big one. Became a huge blow out, that we now just stay of topic, but they did not respect my choice and what I decide to do with my body, so have put a bit distance between us. try to keep it sivil as long as they do not put a lot a shit on me about tattoos, they I will give them shit back, and make it clear that I heard what they have said, and it show no influence on me about this topic.

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  • you're 16 now. no need to rush. you can wait till you think it through and make decision. maybe next year you would change your mind, who know. and do you know detail about tatoo removal? I think you won't like it..

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    • 4d

      Yeah I'm gonna make sure the tattoo is something I want seeing as I have to wait awhile longer. I know about tattoo removal and how it hurts worse than originally getting the ink but I might start small just to make sure.

    • 3d

      I think you should get the first tatoo when you 18. then you should really know what you want to. i get my first when 18th birthday too. you need to taking time to think about it

  • just do it๐Ÿ˜‚ I mean it's your body and you should be the one and only to decide over it. and you don't have to tell it if it is on a hidden place

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  • You could do it and not tell them. They wouldn't see it unless you wore a bikini right? It wasn't until I was older that I got my navel pierced. They didn't find out until after I had done it. My mom is nosy and was searching me on google. My amazon account came up with my wishlist. They didn't want to see it.. so I didn't show them. LOL!

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