What would you do if you caught your girlfriend/boyfriend going through your phone?

Last night I was woken to my G/F holding my phone and asking me who this certain person was. It is a friend of mine that I've known for years and talk to often (a girl). I have told her about my friend...that we talk occasionally. She saw that I talked to her yesterday and suddenly flipped out.

She was acting like I was untrustworthy...but I pointed out that SHE was the one going through MY phone. I told her she can go through it anytime...and my emails too.

How would you deal with this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know if this is the case, but maybe you've been giving her the feeling that you're interested in other girls? I'm not saying it's your fault she did that, maybe she just is sort of mistrusting by nature. But I've only thought of going through one BF's phone before and it's because he acted kind of shady.. the phone was always on silent and always hidden in his jeans pocket. I got a weird vibe, and sure enough, he was messing around.

    If I were you, I'd just reassure her that you love her and that the other girl is just a friend. Tell her she's welcome to look, but only if you're welcome to see her phone, too. If she still acts paranoid and sneaks through your stuff, then that's just her being insecure.

    • I haven't given her any ideas that I am interested in any one else. In fact I proposed to her two weeks ago from today. Maybe she's just nervous or something.

      I wouldn't ask to see her phone...I totally trust her but, I also believe that it's private and she can do whatever she wants....call whomever she wants and if she had a guys # in her phone I wouldn'tsume it is anything other than a friend or someone work related.

      Oh yeah...she said yes.

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What Girls Said 3

  • As long as there wasn't anything inappopriate being said between you and your friend then Id say she is overreacting! Unlike me, I went through my fiances phone and found naked pictures from an old f*** buddy that he said was trying to get back with him but he told her no. Weird, if that were so then why did he SAVE the pictures she sent him! Damn liar! I wish I had just found some regular texts between him and a friend like your girl did. She should be happy she can trust you, not mad!

    • Thanks. She apologized to me and even called her to apologize to her. I didn't know until this morning...but she called my friend last night at 5 am (my friend lives on the east coast).

      She knows I haven't kept anything from her but got upset anyway.

      But, I kinda feel like SHE broke some trust by going through my phone. I'm not totally mad, because I would let her look if she wanted to. Sorry about your situation.

  • Just simply explain to her that you have nothing to hide & you and your friend are just good friends. She just probably flipped out because when you told her that you talk to often, she probably thought maybe every now and than. It's understandable to a point. Most girls don't want to know or even think about their boyfriends talking to a girl, even if it's a friend... But those would be the jealous/insecure type.

  • I'll never have that problem because I have a password on my phone lol I highly recommend it


What Guys Said 3

  • Get out because no matter how many times she says she trust you, she doesn't. That is blatant disrespect and to sneak and snap without giving you a chance to give her the truth. Yeah, she's sorry today but what about two months when you wave to a person and she flips the hell out. You're a grown ass man and you know it's going to get bad. You got to ask yourself, what else has she done. It's going to get ugly.

    • There is a point of tolerance. I haven't gotten to that point yet, and until something drastic happens.....I won't go to extreames. Thank you for your input!

    • This will not change because she doesn't trust you. Tolerance is cool and if she checked your phone and asked about the female without losing it, then I could understand tolerance. But she snapped. You shouldn't have to let her check your email and phone to see what you do. Do you check everything about her. Think about how many times she has done this. And you can't say this was the only incident with her not trusting you. I hope it was a one time thing and it works for you. Good luck

  • well first of I have never been in a situation like this, so don't take my words heavily.

    i would suggest trying to take the situation down a notch, might take some time just make sure that it isn't on the verge of a boxing match the entire time.

    once the situation does not have as high of tension ask for her forgiveness(yeah that's right I said for you to ask for her to forgive you :D) tell her your sorry you had not told her about this person.

    explain to her that the girl on your phone, is just a friend make sure you tell her this calmly. leave no secrets about this girl from her, if you do it may hurt you later on some how women have a magic way of that happening.

    at all cost do not mention anything about her period being the cause for the sudden outburst (I learned that was a bad idea)

    mind you this may take a couple of days so don't expect it all to be OK that same day.

    final step is to get back that trust you lost this will be difficult.

    thats what I think you should do :D

    • Thanks for your answer. You mentioned that I should tell her I'm sorry that I didn' tell her about my friend. But, I have told her. She knows that I talk to her. My friend has called in crisis (when her father passed away, when her boyfriend broke up with her, etc.) ,and I have answered the phone with my G/F right there. She does know about her.

    • Oh OK sorry bout that :3

  • Well, if she woke me up for that I'd probably tell her to shut up and go to bed.

    Sounds like she's worried about other women, if you don't like being questioned all the time this could be a problem. Just tell here that she's the only one and all that crap, and if she continues with the snooping then you need to consider whether or not this relationship is going to last.