HELP, need an answer ?

My best friend and I has been friend since 9th grade and most things in common but I remember her telling me about the parties she attended when she was alone in her apartment and how she would never see herself doing certain things. She has some friends I wasn’t too fond of not because I’m jealous but something wasn’t sitting right with me within.

She decided to get an apartment with those girls and she did not tell me about the party so I asked. I saw a snap video of an apartment with a girl grinding weed and some beverages. She told me she drank and danced on different guys at a party but she wasn’t aware of it but was alert with her surroundings. I didn’t want to say anything because we’re both grown and she’s like a sister to me so I am nervous for her. The way she mentioned it sounded as if she felt bad but she had fun..

In college I know it’s hard to do what you feel is right once you have pure pressure and dozens of people doing one thing and you feel left out. I haven’t heard from her and she feels bad for not replying but I understand she has other friends but that’s not the point.

How do I learn to give my best friend her space and try to understand the circumstances without being over protective? I want her to learn her experiences as well.


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What Guys Said 3

  • You can still be her friend and be their for her but you can't watch her and babysit her all the time. I think she will have to learn things the hard way. She will come running to you when she needs somebody to talk to and communicate with.

  • You may need to pull back on the amount of contact and the energy you devote to this friendship. When people reach your age, they quite often have a change in their friends. People start moving in different directions and some of those moves are in harmful directions. If you feel that she won't listen to you, there is not much you can do for her except to say, "I am concerned that you are following the wrong path for yourself. If you want to find the right path and you need my friendship, I'll be here for you."

  • You can be her friend, what you can do best is point out as to where she might be going wrong and how she can do and handle things in a better way. You can help her clear her mind, empower her to take the right decisions, but don't ever try to influence her in to doing what you think is right, instead if you think she can do something in a better try to convince her rather than influencing her by some means. I am sure you are not the kind of person who influences others but I am just saying so please don't take it the wrong way.

    Most importantly always tell her to remember a fact" Every action will have a consequence", so whatever she does she will have live with the consequences of that.

    Hence you can be her support yet allow her to learn from her mistakes and experiences.

    That's the best opinion I can give.


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