How do you cheer up after having a social anxiety attack?

Anonymous
So I was just vibing with my friends on jackbox party then minecraft, talking on the call for 5 hours. Then I noticed they were getting along more and more and more and I felt excluded sometimes and then I noticed they were a bit cruel sometimes and also I felt like whatever I say would be cringy. I also felt like my personality is just everywhere and it ranges from insensitive prick to sensitive too nice bitch. And just... I started freaking out and panicking even though they were my friends, I felt like anything I say would be stupid and annoying and I know how to play minecraft but they were experts at it and I just felt like a horrible person cause I was being such a noob..

And then I noticed they didn't care when I crashed or anything like that...

So I just stopped talking, I didn't know what to say... and I was too scared to speak. I felt like the worst person in the world for not talking cause I was the damn person that wanted to hang out and call in the first place.. cause I crave socialization but when it happens, I can't handle it. So after being quiet for 30 minutes, I thought "Yep its too weird for me to talk now" so then I continued to not speak, others noted that I wasn't talking which was awkward so eventually I just closed discord and closed minecraft without even saying bye, I just left everyone.. I feel bad but its better then me making a fool out of myself for the rest of the call being completely mute.

And I don't even have a reason to do this because everyone on that call has autism, adhd or social anxiety just like me so what the fk did I do that for, they probably won't ever treat me like my normal self ever again and will never invite me to the game.. I'm so cringy, fk emotions. help
Updates:
9 d
I constantly force myself into social situations for fun and cause I love my friends but then I start getting jealous or paranoid and worry about their hidden motives and how I come off in the conversation and I constantly have the thought "Wow.. I got everyone to come together but now they get along better with each other than me cause I'm an unhealthy son of a bitch woo"

I legit always am adding 500 people to one group chat then regretting it a second later... I have so much chaotic energy :/
How do you cheer up after having a social anxiety attack?
2
1
Add Opinion