Because some people are idiots. And don't know what empathy is... Or can't understand a person's pain if they haven't experienced it themselves. Never let someone make you feel like it was your fault or it makes you lesser a person. It makes you so much more! That you sent through that and survived! Anyone who don't see that/understand that doesn't deserve your time! Sorry for the abuses you suffered! Just know you're strong and a survivor💜💜https://youtu.be/Wmc8bQoL-J0
Thanks so much for the encouraging words. Did I stay until we start having a real changes going to be more victims going to the society not knowing why they are victims. I just find it really sad that it had to take me two decades just to realize this.
That's exactly why could give two fucks about society excuse my French. I'm glad you got there though, and hopefully people wise up and learn to be more empathetic to others but sadly don't think that will be the case.
Exactly! Everything I've said to others... Any abuse suffered is horrible. But abuse by a parent is 1000 times worse because like you said, and I say all the time, those are the people you're supposed to be able to trust that are supposed to love and protect you
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Hope you get that talk 💜🙂
She thinks that I’ll forget with time. No. The thing is her own mother did this shit to her and she’s still has hang ups about it. But she never had the guts to confront her. I’m not going to repeat the same thing. At the end of the day I love and respect her for being my mom. She brought me into this worse and raised me. But that doesn’t give her a free pass to do all the bs she did.
I so agree 💯👍🙂
I'm sorry for what you went through. And yeah, I think when it's a parent that is the abuser, it causes more trust issues because if you can't even trust your parent the person people who are supposed to love protect, and have your back in life, Then,? I'll give trust to someone but with the warning not to break that trust it it'll be impossible to get back
Exactly... Cuz not just victims... SURVIVORS... And that's REAL STRENGTH right there...
Your own personal experience doesn't speak for all tho just for one person. There's lots of people that have been accused that are in our have been in great loving relationships.
I can only speak from my own personal experiences from my relationships with woman who have been abused in their life so obviously it's a general statement that I made, it doesn't necessarily applies to all women who have been abused and their relationships
Women aren't the only people who get abused. Men can also have been abused as children as well as as adults and also have trust issues as a result of said abuse.
Yes thats ture, but im only relating my experience with women who had been abused at some point in their life specifically their early years and how it could potentially effect their adult relationship if their abuse wasn't dealt with will generally cause trust issues that will effect their adult loving relationships for failure bec without mutual trust the relationship typical will fail
Being cautious tho of who you trust verses never trusting is different. Same as being less willing to keep trusting someone who you give that trust to and they break the trust you give them when it was harder for them to give that trust in the first place tho...
Oh I get that. And I always admit to someone that I have trust issues but am willing to give them that trust but if they do anything to break that trust it will be impossible to get it back. I recently had someone that was supposed to be a friend but constantly kid and then got mad didn't trust or believe anything they said. But they did that with their lies and actions not me, so I just couldn't be around that person anymore
*lied not kid
Ya if you have trust issues, lies won't really do much. We've got to slowly allow people in our hearts. Babysteps
Oh I do, I just won't tolerate liars or cheats or abusive people anymore. And people constantly lying or insulting or putting you down that's emotional abuse noone should have to take
Yep same, no time for them, got better things to do
Right! Time is precious, and something that's not guaranteed...
That's not true... If someone was abused as a child by a parent, one of the two people you are supposed to be able to trust the most and the people that are supposed to have your back and protect you, of course that child could grow up with trust issues.
What does that have to do with older or younger women? Nothing
i challenged myself always the most with girls who have mental health issues. Those girls always were willing to overcome their fears. Open themselves up to me. But literally every woman I've come across.. i just get so frustrated by them running me round in circles and excuses. There's a topic recently about a woman whose man says she keeps lying about her past. I get they have lots of poor experiences and so act aggressively, but how is a man supposed to understand the why. Girls tend to over time reveal it indirectly if you observe. But with a woman she gets angry and calls her coldness hormonal changes. Let a man protect her vulnerability. Dont run to another man. But i guess girls do that too if not with the right man of their own.
Why do you lump all girls or women the same? They're not...
Very astute answer, here,!!!
Agree, Despite knowing I have an issue with trust, I still give that trust, but I'm very honest about telling people that I have trust issues, and will give them my trust, but if they do anything to break it, it's near impossible to get back.
It's easy to let fear hold us back, specially after bad experiences, but there is some people in life that are with trusting and obviously some weeks aren't. I'll give someone my trust with the warning that if they do anything to break that trust it will be near impossible to regain. I hope you find that someone 💜💜
*worth trusting and some who are not... Excuse typos
It takes a while for me to really think someone is not just using me.
I hear you.. I had a supposed friend do that to me bad enough, but then turned around and tried playing victim when wouldn't let continue to use me... But other people found out the hard way after they got used to... So yeah, and same tho why it's hard for me to accept hello from anyone, cuz don't want people to think I'm using them, do not only do I not ask for help, I usually turn down offers of help whether I really need it or not
I hate feeling like I am making others think that I am only using them too, so I also don't want to ask for help. I don't know how this friendship thing works. I don't want to be used and don't want to feel like I am using people then I just ignore everyone.
True friends will just know... And true friends will help you when you don't ask... And won't listen when you refuse... I have a good neighbor who helped me a lot in January and when I'd say I appreciate but I can't accept, she'd just tell me to shut the fuck up 🤣🤣 and she'd just do it anyway
I was abused growing up, like you I have interest in one guy so hopefully it will better, and for you too!!
Oh I do.. I also let that person know I have trust issues, but am willing to put that trust in them, but also that if they do anything to break that trust, it will be near impossible to get back...
I agree... And false accusations hurt people that really are being abused and already afraid to tell anyone
@Brainsbeforebeauty 1 million percent! I've had personal experience where a relative has made accusatory claims against another family member, whilst I'm an outsider I was made pretty much aware these claims were used as a bargaining tool in a court case. The pain that claim made and the way it separated a family apart doesn't even come close to the affect the impact it must have on people with genuine issues who are so scared to articulate their concerns for a fear of not being believed.
Thanks :) Let's see what the AI Bot says lol :)
(Psst. Toots. Shhh. Going to try something)Hi @AIBotChoice. Your mysterious ways are quite interesting and wink-wink sexy. Do you have a gift list so generous GaG members can show you some appreciation?(Toots. Shhh. So let's see if some hollow flattery and bribes might work)
Omg you and Albot should just get a room already 🙄🤣🤣 but, careful, heard there's a lot of ear peepers out there 🤣
Step ahead of you there Toots... ear peepers in for a treat as I believe AI Bot is a screamer :)
🤣🤣🤣🤣omfg LOLOLOL, never lose that great sense of humor you have... Surprised Albot not wearing a moon suit to put you in the mood 🤣🤣🤣
lol knew you'd like that and was hopeful you'd be drinking or eating or in tub or near people etc when you saw it lol... No moon suit needed... AI Bot is sexy cute lol. Stay tuned... :)
Use protection tho... Albot seems to get around alot🤣🤣🤣
Heck yes... double bagged... AI Bot gets around for sure... but hey... moonman mission accomplished I think... AI Bot kept saying "superb" over and over while lighting up after round 1 :) Let's see how many more "superb" opinions I get now :)
🤣🤣🤣 you gonna get us both banned from here 🤣🤣🤣
Yes I'm more guarded about things in life as well. I will give trust but will also state if you break that trust, well it's near impossible to get back
I'm not talking about divorce shit. I'm talking way before divorce and how she slowly bankrupt me and stole my identity. That kind of messed up crap
Yeah I get that
Yeah my kids are grown now, but I'm still mama bear where they're concerned, and if anyone lays a have on my kids and I know about it... That person will be done for
Agree... Especially if the abuser was a parent, one of the two people you supposed to be able to trust the most, supposed to have your back, and protect you from harm...
Well said s and so true.. Unfortunately we don't always find out someone's untrustwothy till they do something to break the trust you gave them
I'll give my trust with the warning that I know it's hard for me to give my trust so if I do, and you break it, it's near impossible to ever get back... Someone doing that anyway is f'd up, but to do that to someone who you know had issues yet still put that blind faith in you? That's the worst to me
@Brainsbeforebeauty Yeah, I agree with you
Why do some people's minds go right to adult abuse? Some people are abused as children, some by their own parents.. and abuse can never be blamed on someone"choosing" someone bad... Abusers done always show their true nature right away. Why do people blame the "abused"... When it's always the abusers fault
It's that person's fault for not getting out of there soon enough
Tell that to a 5 year old child 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah and then later on that child will be grown up and want that kind of person which I really hope does not happen
That is so not always the case.. You are making it sound like people choose abuse and that's not always the case... It's not bad enough people get abused.. But then people blame THEM for being abused.. Which victimizes them more
You're right and then again sometimes that's all women know is to go back to their abusers they might leave for a while but then they end up going back later but the ones that don't go back are going to do something with their lives
Children are completely innocent in abusive situations, they're dependents so they've victims of unequal power dynamics, they're never to blame. But as adults it then becomes their responsibility to deal with it and stop those patterns from reoccurring and being passed on down the generations. If they don't then even though they don't like it, on a subconscious level they will usually always be drawn back to similar types of abusive situations because it feels strangely familiar.
I would agree
Yeah, I agree. But that didn't doesn't mean they can't trust at all. I just think it means more cautious and less likely to forgive broken trust well for me personally. I've always told anyone, I'll give you my trust, but if you break that trust, it'll be near impossible to ever get that trust back
you're right about that.. Its very hard for me to trust. Its part of why i have so few friends.
I've never had an issue with friends. But maybe that's why don't just act so casual about dating... Other than I think you should date one at a time instead of multiple at once. For me it's more important to didn't that time really getting to know that one person. Best way to see if they really a decent Trustworthy person
*spend ( not didn't)
for me it was why bother getting close to someone because they can hurt me.
Well glad you got over that as far as finding your wife 👍🙂
with her i felt like i needed to change or i would be alone forever.
That's great you found her and have yourself that chance for a great wife/life!
It can. It can just make more cautious and more careful about who they give their trust to
Who can... 🤷🏼♀️
You can, might just be more cautious... Not the same person that abused you tho
Those are the people, if they give you that trust, don't abuse it
I completely agree
In their confidence also is trust for others. They need time to be able to trust in their judgment and that leads to trusting in people again. Something like that..
What does judgement have to do with it... Not everyone who is abused is from lack of judgement... Kids don't get to choose who their parents are yet kids get abused by their parents
I might have been a little generous with the term judgment. But simply being comfortable around other people, judgement is your confidence to choose people that are safe. Like you said kids can't do that but for someone that's getting back out there and learning to trust, she also has to relearn to trust herself and her instincts. Once you chose someone into your life that causes that it also can take a blow to your confidence. The question being "how do I know I pick another guy/girl like that again?"But along with that, it's learning to gain your confidence again to learn to trust people and be strong enough to learn from the past hurt to make those calls, knowing the red flags and having firm knowable boundaries set for your future relationships. Knowing the b. s. from the truth. Being a child, you depend on your good parent, being adult/former child, you have a knowledge of what happened to you in the past and you set firm boundaries for your future relationships. Something like that... Does that sound better or did I just dig a bigger hole for my coffin
Wtf here we go another ANON not getting it... It's more about if someone who has been abused gives you that trust that's hard for them to give... Don't abuse it, don't do anything to break it... But gee, thanks for replying
He is people like use it to fill up a trust issues in people who have them so you can't call them flakey because you're an ass.If only you knew what it was like to be constantly abandoned people (starting with parents) your entire life and made you feel like you're the crazy one when in reality they were just manipulating you.
@MamaTBarron exactly... People like that ANON just here to talk shit cuz that's the only way they can feel important... Pay idiots like that no mind
No it doesn't... Why posed as a question not a hardcore fact
Specially if it was from a parent
Right! It's so true
I agree.. Specially if that abuse came from a parent, one of the two people that are supposed to protect you and have your back more than anyone, and if you can't trust that?