My reason is he likes me.
Doesn't matter, you set the boundaries. You can meet with other mutual friends. Because even of you met alone, what he wants is what he wants. You do not have to accept if or engage. The answer is a no to dates, no to anything othwrbthan friendship. He don't like it, oh well. Let him go elsewhere.
He has never ask me on dates, he only ask me to hang out in public places
We’ve been friends for years and we never hanged out once. He always invites me out to get lunch but I never go
He said he liked me. I don’t know what he meant but I’m assuming romantically
Liked me? What was your answer? So you reject him but decided to remain friends rightHonestly you should ignore him because it is difficult to be friends with person you like, he may be trying to make you fall for him.
I didn’t outright tell him I wasn’t interested but recently I told him I don’t feel that way about you. He hasn’t shown no indication or trying to make me fall for him. He honestly acts as a friend. He doesn’t flirt or anything. He just ask to hang out
So why are not hanging out with him if you feel he is not flirting/making you fall for him?But still if you don't want to hangout than just give him honest answer.
I don’t want to hang out because of my personal reasons. I don’t want to give him the wrong idea. He always stresses me it’s okay just be honest but I’m scared I might hurt him. I think me not be in being honest has strained our relationship
Please be honest to him.It might hurt him but he will recover from that.
It’s too late now
How? Did he stop contacting you.
We had an argument and I stopped talking to him
Honestly it might hurt him for a particular timeperiod but eventually he will forget you which is better because you don't consider him real friend anyway.
He apologized to me but I didn’t respond so I’m certain I’m on his mind. We haven’t talked in 5 months so who knows. I do consider him a real friend
Just don't contact him again.Also real friends do hangout.
So do you think I kept in contact with him for a reason?
You just like to talk to him or ask advice something thats the reason your online friendship started with him
But we met in real life not online
May be once or twice?But still you are kind of mostly talking online so it is kind of online friendship.Also His behavior, attitude might be completely different in person if you hangout with him many times.
It maybe change in person but I can’t think about the negative. I shouldn’t talk to someone if I clearly don’t trust them
Than Don't contact him again.
I mean we engage each other through text
I'd say that's an acquaintance, at best.
Even if we share some personal things and he is there for me
I'd say so, yeah. He's not actually part of your life any more than a diary is.
I don’t hang out with him because he likes me but he is still a friend
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I don’t hang out with him because he likes me but we are still friends
Likes you how?
Romantically I think. He told me he likes me
Him thinking of you as more than a friend, isn't reason enough to keep your distance. I find it kind of strange you don't feel you can hangout with him, even if he did say he likes you, unless he is flirting with you then I would say, keeping your distance as you don't want to be understood by him.
Why do you find it strange? If you hang out with an single guy that likes you it is inevitable for him to think it is not a date.
I have a friend that likes me, we are both single, but we still hangout. If he was flirting with me, I would keep my distance, but he doesn't flirt with my so we are cool. I have told him that I don't return he's feelings, so he respects that and we still hangout. I would just keep my distance with out him giving me a reason too. After all he said he liked me, but hasn't done anything to make me feel uncomfortable around him.
In regards to flirting what do you mean? Are you talking about sexual comments?
Yes, like him call me babe or hot stuff. After all anything that makes me think we are more than friends.
Oh okay. Well he doesn’t do any of that. To be honest he acts like a friend but when he said he liked me that thought is always in the back of my mind. I don’t know if I can trust his intentions. He always ask to hang out not often but occasionally and I turn it down. He gets upset because he doesn’t understand why. Him getting upset tells me he just wants to date me
Him getting upset, is because he doesn't understand you have doubt about him, and even though he know you don't like him, he still wants to hangout. I had doubt too about my friend the first time we met after he told me his feelings, but when we hanged out he didn't do anything to justify my doubts, in fact him made he feel like I could trust him to be my friend, even though he had feelings for me.
I think is it too late to resolve this issue. I guess he got fed up of me doing this to him. He confronted me about the entire situation. Told me you clearly don’t want to be friends because you don’t want to hang out and sporadic texting. he feels I play games and use him when I’m bored. One night I texted him that I was thinking about him while at a party after midnight. He didn’t understand why I do all this yet isn’t interested in having a real situation. I don’t know if he is justified. It sounds like he is just bitter I won’t date him.
Nope sounds to me, like you ruined the friendship. I never treated the guy friend, that said he liked me, like the way you treated this guy, I understand you were worried about him intentions, but as a friend you have realise you have to treat your friends with respect and not like some creep. He probably regrets telling you he likes you, because you ruined the friendship because of it, he's fed up, of trying to keep your friendship alive, when you are being cold towards him. You text him when you need someone, but won't hangout with him, because he said he liked you. He has never done anything to suggest that he wants to be more than your friend, but you can't even give him the benefit of the doubt, in your eyes he is guilty, but yet you haven't got any proof, also nothing you have said about him, makes me think he want hangout with you, just so he can date you, it sounds to me he still trying to be friends, but after being treated badly he's had enough.
If he feels I wronged him how come after our argument he apologized a week later? He must feel guilty. I told him it is annoying discussing this hanging out issue with him because he doesn’t get it. He feels he was only good enough to be a friend to me when I had issues about other guys. I leaned on him for support but he never complained about until after the fact. I don’t owe him hanging out. I don’t owe him anything. The fact that he makes it seem that way is wrong. Me being cold to him is because I have my own personal issues tang is unrelated to him. He feels there is always something going on with me and that isn’t a excuse. The way he talked to me where he said don’t talk to me unless you apologize makes him look bad. Maybe he was hurt. Do I owe him an apology?
I think you have issues, you need to seek help for a professional. I think he's acting normal, but your actions I find strange, yet you said it's because of an issues you are having with other guys, you need help to get past that, as for this guy he's trying to help you, give you his time for free. Even though you don't feel you own him, the time he spends talking to you he could have spent on himself, he apologised because his words were really mean, not because he did have a reason to be upset. He had every reason to be upset, but he had not right to be rude, so he apologised. I think you need to work though your problems before you can decide to hangout or not. I think you have been hurt and you don't trust people. I went through something likes this, but I got help and I recovered. You should get help too, I think you will be fine when you get the help you need.
I haven’t talked to him for 5 months. I feel it is unfair that you are taking his side. If I showed you the text thread you would understand where I’m coming from
I am not taking sides, I am telling how I see it. I agreed with you about him being rude, was uncalled for, and he apologised for his behaviour. I don't agree that anyone you don't hangout with is a friend, which is what you asked. You said the reason you don't hangout is, because he said he liked you. I just don't get that at all, as I had the same thing happen and still hangout with the guy. He's didn't say he loved you, he didn't say he want's to go on a date, just to hangout as friends. I am not saying you are to blame for this, I don't think you realise that you are making him out to be a bad guy, yet all I can see is him trying his best to be your friend with someone who doesn't trust him. Your actions hurt others too, just as his actions hurt you. I understand you are afraid that he will make a move on you, but until he has done that all you are doing is pushing him away for no reason. I think you feel like a victim, yet he is also a victim. I don't thinks he's without blame, after all he shouldn't have told you he likes you, when you were talking to him about your problems, and he shouldn't haven't have been mean too you. So, I think this is what the really issues is, you were hurting, and while he was helping you he told you he liked you, you weren't ready to hear that, and it's causing all these problems between you two now. I do think it was bad timing on his part, yet I think you need to tell him whats bothering you or it will cause more problems.
We haven’t talked in 5 months. He reached out with an apology but it didn’t seem sincere so I didn’t respond. I think it’s up to me to reach out at this point. I don’t know if I should. Productive communication was always lacking on both sides. He probably was seeking something real but he felt I was just taking advantage of him.
I think at this point you need to do whats best for you, this guy no longer matter. I think he's not really willing to be a friend with you at this point, I think you need to forget him, and heal yourself. I am sure, you will be just fine, I think try focusing on something you like to do and not worry about him anymore, I think after the outburst he feels, upset with you. So if you do reach out now, he won't treat you the same as before. Which won't be good for you as you already have been a lot. You need to do wants best for you. So good luck and hopefully, things get better for you.
Thanks for your responses
No problem, I wish you the best.
How so? We engage in text conversations
Just engaging in text conversation doesn’t make him your friend. A friend is someone whom you would like to invite for some important events or whom you like to meet to spend so time and talk.,
I intentionally keep it like that because I knows he likes me.
I couldn’t get your point. You mean you don’t want him to fall for you? Is that what you meant?
I no he likes me romantically so I keep my interactions with him to text because I don’t want to lead him on by hanging out
Because he likes me
Does he know that you don't return the same feelings? Is he content enough to have contact with you (is it over text only, or something?), rather than have nothing from you, no friendship either?
He knows I don’t return his feelings. Our interactions are only through text and he isn’t satisfied with that.
Ah, well it all makes perfect sense now.No, of course you're not "a bad friend." Because this is a classic situation of a guy wanting more (he doesn't really want to be friends) and the girl not, but she doesn't exactly want him out of her life. You know, a lot of guys would say it's a good thing you are not leading him on. They hate being 'friendzoned', not knowing whether they will ever get in the girl's good graces.What you now have to figure out is if him being in your life a little/at all is better for him than not. You could come right out and ask him that, but you might have to figure it out yourself, what's best for him (not just you.)Is he going to be emotionally hung up on you? Will it prevent him from moving on?Will your feelings possibly change in the future?These are the things to consider. Online friendships/relationships can only go so far over text. It also depends, of course, on how deeply you two chat. Maybe you could help him with his dating life and future relationships, like to help interpret girls' behaviour. Anyway, up to you.
This isn’t a online situation. We actually know each other and met in real life.
Well then it sounds like you really don't have a friendship.Maybe you should just cut him loose if you're not chatting digitally, not interested in what he wants out of the relationship, and aren't willing to hang out as friends.
Yea I think you’re right. Me and him aren’t on good terms right now. We haven’t talked in months. I think I just strung him along when clearly I wasn’t interested in anything meaningful. He thinks I was just bored and used him for idle chat
Why because we don’t hang out?
What do you do? On good terms... sure. Friends... no
We text each other and check on each other
That's your definition of friendship? That's it?
That’s a part of it. We share stories and try to get to know each other