I have thoughts a bout ending my life but?

Not that I'd go through with it, I'm not depressed, or that pressure is getting on top of me, I haven't got any mental health issues but I have been going through some stuff inside myself that I'm afraid to tell people about even a therapist. I'm not seeking attention over this.

It's getting harder each day to keep it at bay, I just wish I could find a place I could scream and shout, cry and just wreck everything but not have people worry about me or wondering what's wrong.

I haven't had a good hard cry in so long and it's not like I can't force it out, sometimes I get close but part of me hesitates and holds it back.

There's a violent part of me that wants to come to the surface but I'm afraid of what will happen if I let it.

I'm scared and some days I find the best way for me and to protect others around me if before that time comes to be is if I take my own life.

Any of you in a similar boat as me?
I have thoughts a bout ending my life but?
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