I'm just so toxic?

I haven't seen my friends in so long.

I dont think I have friends anymore.

I'm toxic, a manipulator, and selfish. like I didn't even get my friend a gift for her birthday. I'm just a shitty person, you know I'm so worthless. I dont deserve anyone. I've always been a shitty friend. I'm gonna be a toxic mom, a toxic wife. I'm already a toxic daughter and sibling. my older brother and I barelt talk and we live in the same house. I'm only close with my mom and we get into little arguments every day, well not everyday but most days. I'm just a shit person. I dont deserve to be here. I'm flaky, unreliable, irresponsible. They have good cars and are always so good about picking me up, dropping me off and making sure I have a ride home. They are amazing, but I'm not. I just take advantage of them. Why am I so worthless? Why can't I just be a good friend, daughter and sister? Why is everything so fucking hard for me?
I'm just so toxic?
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