Can a father abandon a child and just get visitation 14 years later?

Anonymous
I live in the U. S. My ex and I made a baby 14 years ago. She has no idea he even exists. My husband raised her with me, and he's the only father she's ever known. My ex has paid $149 a month in child support that is garnished from his wages, but he's made no efforts to be in her life. He never wanted kids and always wanted nothing to do with her. His name is not even on the birth certificate.

We always agreed that we would tell her about him when she's 30, and if she had an interest they could meet. Now, his wife has shown an interest in my daughter, and it's caused a bit of a switch to where they are curious and want to just randomly butt in out of nowhere and with no plan to do anything to make her life better. Just because they can.

Can they do this? If we went to court, would a judge make me shake up my child's life and send her off to people who never wanted anything to do with her until 14 years into her life? I feel like this could really derail her life. My ex is not a good person, and we agreed they'd stay far apart for many good reasons. Does anyone have experience with this?
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Can a father abandon a child and just get visitation 14 years later?
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