What can I do to help myself?

BlackTealLazer
I can't get help for this because I am unable to. My parents know that I need professional help, and they refuse to let me see a counselor.
I am so angry with the way they emotionally beat up on me daily and act like they didn't do anything. And if anyone notices this while we're in public, they pretend to care, and then ground me for looking miserable in public.
They only seem to notice that something's bothering me when it's making them look bad. But they really don't care to fix it.
They're constantly yelling at me and cussing me out as well. And any time I'm not grounded, they find something else to ground me over.

I wake up every day with an undying hatred for them, and it makes me want to hurt someone. But I usually end up hurting myself because I don't have a healthier way to let it out and I can't contain it too well. This has been getting worse by the day and I have no way to stop it.

I'm afraid that I'll lose it, and that's the last thing I want.
What can I do to help myself?
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