Daughter okay with her dad being in relationship but not mom.. thoughts?

My hub and I recently divorced.. and when he introduced a new "friend" to my girls they were completely okay with it. My daughters are 11 and 5. My oldest states it's only bc she is just a "friend" when I ask her about it and why she's not okay with meeting my "friend". She says "well I've seen your texts and you guys are more than friends. Plus he's a 'guy'". Okay, fair- but also not fair that you've been able to see his texts to me. So now it's been a little over 3 months and my ex tells me he's going to talk to the girls about the true nature of his relationship with his "friend". I say good luck bc I'm not even "allowed" in a relationship. Well.. apparently it went really fucking good his convo with them about it, and they are completely okay with it. So here I am like WTF. My oldest doesn't want to have anything to do with my friend doesn't even want to meet him but yet my ex's friend hangs out with them all the fucking time. I get he's a guy but come on it's not fair and I know I'm going to be with him as we have a history.. whereas this other girl he just barely met right after I left him. Ugh I'm trying not to be upset about it.
So the question is, is this something I need to let go for now and not push it, or is my oldest just being stubborn and she just needs to get over and used to it? I mean she's clearly okay with her dad being in a relationship, so why not me? 😔
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Okay so really tho, would it be wrong of me to force her to meet him? I mean she's perfectly fine with her dad being in a relationship it just peeves me so much that she has to be different for me. So he's a "guy".. does she need to get over it or do I really have to wait for her to be "comfortable"? Who knows when that will be!
Daughter okay with her dad being in relationship but not mom.. thoughts?
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