You’re dating her? How did that happen?
Turns out the other guy was abusive and out of nowhere she remembered me.
So you didn’t see her for a while?
Yeah, she got kicked out of school fr trying to kill herself.
I’m having these exact thoughts with my close friend. Literally word for word.
But I’m confused about whether she likes me or not. Because she rarely texts me first and never initiates meet ups with me.
Exactly. Most of the time I initiate text/calls/meeting. Now during the pandemic he probably got a lot of free time yet he takes hours to reply & doesn't answer my calls. I have to call him 3-4 times before he answers it. He gives me some mixed signals & I'm very confused. But I'm more focused on positive side. Right now all I can do is wait.
You can try this thing - don't call/text her for a couple of days & see wheather she notice it or not.I did this once. I didn't text him all day & he called me on the next day to check if I'm ok.
I haven’t texted her for 4 days and nothing although we have arranged to meet on Saturday. She always replies quickly if I text even if it’s brief.
What are the signs which make you think your guy might like you? i might be able to give you an idea of if he does.
Ask her is she busy or is everything ok? What if she's doing the same thing & waiting for your call?Once I asked him straight - "Why aren't you answering my calls? Do you find my long texts boring? Or am I annoying you?"He said he's just busy & he's bored of texting. Because he has probably 1000s of friends texting him, that's why he's offline all day. He said he's glad that I told him what's the problem & did not disappear like many people do when they have some misunderstanding.
What makes you think he likes you other than that? What are the signs you’re noticing?
What if she's really busy? You think that she's ignoring you & she don't have any idea?Communication can fix everything. I'm not telling you tell her that you like her, I know the risks. But you should try to keep the friendship grow stronger. And maybe at some point she'll look at you as the closest person in her life.
No I’m trying to help you with your situation. What are the signs your guy likes you.
We go for one on one hangouts, before pandemic we used to meet at a cafe in my town (wich is 40-45 minutes distance away from his city). He used to drive that far to have coffee with me. Also he took me for horror movie, knowing that I'm not a big fan of horror & watched my reactions, instead of focusing on movies. He always drops me home (10 min driving distance from the cafe). He held my hand many times to chck the temperature, because I have very cold hands. Whenever we have conversation, he looks into my eyes 90% of the time & barely breaks eye contact. After we had that conversation about misunderstanding, he texts me once/twice a day & calls me 3-4 times a week & we talk for at least 1-2 hours.
He likes you 100%.
Guys are very simple. He wouldn't behave like that with you if he didn’t like you.
I'm just worried what if he's being just very nice because I'm his best friend & he cares about me?
Well let's talk about your question, I'm here to help you. I know that you like her, are there any signs that she likes you too?
Guys wouldn’t act like that even to a female best friend. He sounds like he likes you but is unsure if you like her so is playing it safe.
My friend acts like this. If on a group walk, she will generally talk to me the most and will start the conversation. She can be nervous. - If I’m talking to others on a walk, she’ll join in the conversation. - She rarely texts me first but when i do, she’ll ask follow up questions most times. Her replies are generally brief. - She opens up to me and keeps me updated about what she’s up to. She also asks me about things I’m doing. - Sometimes if I make prolonged eye contact with her whilst talking, she’ll do the same. Other times not. - She’ll lean in if we’re sitting opposite and I lean in. - She won’t move away if my face gets close to hers whilst talking. - Sometimes she gets very close while we’re walking side by side. Other times not. - She always asks me questions to elaborate on things I’m talking about. She always keeps the conversation going by asking me questions. - She listens to me when talking about my passions and asks questions even if I’m having this conversation with someone else. - She mentions the positives in me (my many hobbies & she says she wished she more too, my ambitions and says she wishes she was more ambitious) - a female friend and guy friend of mine (who has liked her for a long time but got rejected) thinks she likes me. - she can sometimes be quiet around me or face away from me. - She generally says yes to hanging out but sometimes will say “could do but I don’t like that activity” or “could do but I do have things to do that day”. She tends to eventually come to a decision to do it anyway. - I suggested to her she could come with me last minute to go to the park once and she said she wasn’t sure as she was about to make lunch and go shopping. I suggested she lets me know if she decides she wants to come and she later texted me to ask if I’m still there and she walked 45 minutes to come and see me. - She says my name a lot. She mentions me in conversation a lot to others
Her body language is very similar to mine when I talk to my best friend. Brief texts means she tells you every detail of the story & probably tells you everything happening in her life. As far as I know, girls generally don't text briefly to everyone, even with guys friends we send single small text or multiple multiple text.Follow-up questions & mentions your good qualities to others - that's a plus point. I think she likes you too. But saying no to hangouts is a bit weird. Maybe she's actually busy. Ask her when she's free & re-arrange the plan. You guys might have a lot of common interests, try something that you both can have fun.
She’s never said no to me. It’s almost always not sure or don’t like that but I’ll do it anyway. And by brief texts I mean generally short texts.
She behaves sort of the way you behave to your guy friend but without the calls and texts. Things which make me like her even more are little things like how she buys me a tea and cake and comes to ask me what cake I want then if I want a hot drink with it too. I also find it really cute how she gets nervous around me and shows that she cares about me. For example, she asks how I felt after I ate something which sometimes makes me ill or if I plan to have a proper dinner. The other day she randomly asked what kind of films I like and said she doesn’t really like horror films.
She probably made some excuses, but in the end she came. That part is important. How short? 5-6 lines are ok if that covers the entire story. I only text other guys from my class only if it's important. I only tell my guy friend what's happening in my everyday life.
She tells me stuff about her life in person. Sometimes by text. But she rarely texts me first. She always replies if I text her first, generally with 1-2 line replies.
She tells you about her life in person, then it's ok if she doesn't say all that over the texts. Maybe she's not a big fan of texting.Can you take her on a horror movie? 😅 That movie kind of brought us closer. He mocks me about my reactions & now asking me for another horror movie.
She’s not a big texting person.
In your case, I think he 100% likes you but maybe needs a bit more assurance from you. In my case, it’s not as clear.
I know because I act the way your guy does to my friend.
I think she likes you too. She seem a bit shy & nervous around you. But hey that's a good sign.I used to do that during 1st few weeks before we became friends, then I noticed he's as nervous as I am. We had to communicate, because we were in a same group project. It felt like a forced start, but as I got know him, I realised how similar we are. Well that was a different story, I hope it's helpful.
I don't know why he's unsure, I'm doing almost everything to show my affection. I don't talk to anyone for sake of talking. During high school, I've been betrayed by friends, I don't trust people easily. Most of time I spend alone, even since school I always felt like I don't fit in anyone's group. I'm not the kind of girl who approaches people. He's an ambivert so he probably noticed the difference in my behavior & we have the kind of transparency that we can talk to eachother without filtering our thoughts.There are some things holding me back like -When I text him something nice, he takes even more hours to reply, sometimes replies to my other texts except the text I wanted him to reply first. After 1-2 days he scrolls back & replies to that text, saying that he just forgot to read it. That text was between the 2 texts he replied. That seemed like he avoided it on purpose.When I compliment him, he just smiles & tries to change the topic with related things like - If I tell him that he smells nice, he'll tell me what kind of shampoo he uses & which deo it is or he just showered with this soap before he got here.
Maybe just straight up ask him rather than wait? I think he definitely likes you. And it’s clear you like him. Not so in my case. My friend would never give me compliments. She might hint good qualities about me - that’s about it.
She talks about you that's good. I think she don't want others to tease her about you. Somehow people notice when you're in love. She knows that you're a good person/have good qualities & she wants other people to know it. I don't know if I should tell him, there are so many things to clear up. I'm waiting for the unlock & the cafe to open. I wanna see if everything goes well between us after this lockdown.
What are the things to clear up? Where are you?
Nowadays he says he's busy, but most of the time I see him online playing video games or when I see him online on chat, he goes offline without sending me a text. Before lockdown, he used to text me saying that he's busy & he'll text me later, now he doesn't do that. Whenever he calls me, I drop everything I'm doing at the time to answer his call.He only calls me when he has time & when I call him he doesn't answer because he's too busy to answer for sec to tell me that he'll call me later.My point is - Even if people are busy, they make time for their loved ones. He doesn't make time for me like I do for him. This one thing bothers me a a lot.
Maybe he’s genuinely busy though. Today, I saw my friend outside and we did a walk despite the rain as were only allowed to meet outside at the moment due to lockdown. (I guess you’re in the UK too?). We walked in the morning putting off a longer walk to next weekend. Although today, we didn’t lock eyes as much during conversation as we normally do. She kept looking away. Although we did at some points. But we had quite deep conversations and she asked me lots of questions. At the end, instead of going straight home the quick way for her, she walked to the station with me where I get the train home from. Do you think she’s losing interest in me? We agreed to meet next weekend too
She walked with you to the station! That's nice. It's hard to lock eyes while walking. Don't worry, she's not losing interest. She seem a bit shy to me. She'll take some time to open up.I'm an introvert, it took me 2 years to call him a best friend.No, I live in India. Dating is very awkward here. 😆 Everyone is shy & nervous about expressing their feelings. So we try to guess it by each other's body language & vibes. 😅
Try this - you tell her something (about your childhood/special moments in life) & she'll tell you something. The more transparent you become, the more stronger bond will form between you two.We did this a lot. Now we both know what kind of kids we were & now what we became. It's all about telling the mistakes we made & then telling in a funny way that I learned this lesson in my life. He started this thing. I never had that kind of conversation with anyone in my life (not even with my family). That's why he's very special.Make her feel something that she never felt before.
But then there’s this article - www.google.co.uk/.../ It suggests that over familiarity kills sexual chemistry.
I texted her something about what we were talking about later on and she ignored it.
It does, but only for temporary relationship or one night stand or hookups. I guess everyone likes the person who talks about life, interests & ambitions. When people talk about their favourite things, their eyes sparkles & their expressions looks charming.Many people have crush on their best friend because they know them. In friendship there's trust, understanding, transparency, loyalty, honesty, emotions, comfort, everything is there - which is a strong foundation of a good relationship.Don't worry if she doesn't text you back right now, see if in the next meeting she continues the topic you were discussing. If she remembers it, it's a positive sign. I srill remember almost everything he said when we talked last week over the phone. If again he brings up that topic, I'll pick up where we left off last time.
She replied. She was reading what I sent her. Also I realised that before I developed a crush on her I used to tease her a lot. Now I’ve become too agreeable with her and I worry this kills the attraction too. I think your guy is genuinely busy.
Tease a a lot! You mean once in a while, not every day right? Don't let it make a routine or she'll think that you're just playing with her.Yeah I hope you're right, maybe he's just busy.
Such a fine balance isn’t it. I just want to get it right because I really like her. I think this is the problem. Even today when I stood in front of her to say bye, I was nervous and she was awkward as usual but she was just so nice to look at. She has the most amazing smile, her long and wavy brown hair and she has a really nice set of blue eyes.
Wow you're in love with her.As far as i can tell, she likes you too. No red flags yet. Take it slow & don't worry, everything will be alright. Good luck! 👍
Am I? I thought I just had a crush on her.
She didn’t sustain eye contact with me whilst we were sitting on a bench today either.
I read this. The example involving Laura at the start of the article made me cry. I hope my friend doesn’t do this. And please don’t do this to your friend. www.thehopeline.com/.../
The way you described her, sounds more like love. 😅She's nervous, it's ok. Maybe she looked at you when you were looking away. For how long you know eachother?
I've red many articles & none of them really helped me. I started to act very cautious, he realised that I'm acting a bit weird & kept distance from me for a while. So I stopped reading.Don't rush & don't do anything which can ruin what you have. Just be yourself. You still have time to make everything better.
In my case, I think I already lost him months ago. ☹️Yesterday our final exam result was declared, he called every classmate & I got calls from a few of them saying that I'm the topper in my specialization & he's the topper in the entire college. Turned out he's the one who called them first. So he's been calling every classmate except me. I used to call him first, but yesterday I waited for his call, he didn't even sent a text. He called me this morning.Today he said that his sister is 7 months pregnant, I was surprised that we talked so many time & he never told me about it.Lately he's been hanging out with his best buddies, goes on a road trip & went their house to watch cricket match. But when I told him that it's been 6 months since we met & when can I see him, he says he can't go out during the pandemic because his sister is pregnant.He calls me "one of his best friends", now I started to doubt that.
Maybe he gave up as you didn’t make a move or show enough interest? We’ve known each other 3/4 years but only became close during the pandemic. She rarely messages me first.
You're lucky that you came close during the lockdown. She asks follow-up questions & as you said she's not a texter, so there's nothing to worry about replies. You can try sticking to the conversation during text, one topic leads to another & there's no end.How was her behaviour when you first started to talk? Lately she seemed nervous or she's been like this all the time?Dating isn't even in Indian culture. Guys don't approach some random girl, 1st they go for the closest female friend. One thing I'm sure about that he don't have any other female friend as close as I am. But I tried everything I could.Generally parents decide who will we marry & we have to take parent's permission to marry someone of our choice. We both have same religion, but our caste & mother tongue is totally different.My family knows my guy friend & they tease me about him. He met my family 3-4 times.His family is more traditional than mine. That's why he's got so many restrictions. He says he can't call me when he's home & can't come out of town to see me, but he calls me twice a week when he's out for morning walk alone. I'm very confused by his mixed signals. Everything was going well before the pandemic & now we lost the connection. Lockdown sucks.
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Not everyone is an extrovert like this though.
Introverts can get dates too now. My suggestion is to use a lot of online options and just keep meeting girls until it becomes second nature. This is a HUGE life skill so the sooner you develop it the better off you'll be. And you CAN get better at it through practice. If I think about it, it's the single biggest piece of advice I'd give to young me--get GOOD at meeting girls, get GOOD at going on dates, HAVE MORE SEX and learn from it!
That is an extrovert trait. An introvert does not want to meet and sleep with a lot of girls, it completely goes against their nature.
I don't think interest in sex is limited just to extroverts man.
No but what I mean is an introvert doesn’t want to have sex with or meet lots of people. They get to know people slowly and then become attracted to them as a person.
Dude--that's not even how sexual attraction works! lol!
It is for introverts.
It really isn't. I'm an introvert and that's not at ALL how sexual response works.
How does it work then?
By dating people who aren’t friends?
Stupid. You have to tell people you like them to marry them.
But easier to tell non friends than friends.
You risk more sure but worth it to know in the end
"By dating people who aren’t friends?" Best relationships are when you two are friends too. Depends on what you want though.
I don’t think you can ever be certain though.
In what way?
Once you tell her about YOUR FEELING. things will forever change between the both of you. The friendship you built between her won't ever be the same. Been there, done that!!. Didn't work out between us. As of now and for years she's no longer talking to me. Trust me you don't want to lose your best friend.
I’ve done it before and where I’ve been rejected, my friendship with them grew stronger after the initial awkwardness.