Can I release my feelings here?

Anonymous
Hi, I’m the oldest sister in my family. I only have 2 siblings and we’re all girls. My dad he is a womanizer. Since I was little and I still remember everything, I saw my parents argue and fight almost every day. And everyone know about that. My mom always told her family about my dad fault, most of a time I was there too. At that time I was still in grade 3 or 4. Whenever I visit my grandma I heard them ( mom, grandma and aunts) talk bad about my dad in front of me and I played a long. I want my mom to be happy. Days by days my life continues like that. At grade 4 I pretended to be sick. I don’t want to go to school, I was security my mom in front of her bedroom door afraid they might argue or fighting. My parents took me to every famous hospital and clinic but they couldn’t know what’s wrong with me. Then a year later, they took me to a private clinic. It look like a house from outside. After the doc has checked me up, they ask me to come outside and only talked to my paren Privately. After that day, mom and dad whenever they fight they made it sound comedy and I laughed when they argued. And my mom took on a road trip or vacation every weekend. My dad didn’t join because he was very busy with his business. I’ve stopped pretend my sickness and I went to school everyday. I was the top 3 of my class.
Updates:
17 d
I was at grade 8. My father’s nieces came to live with us. They were around 24 years old while I was 13 years old. We were close, living with them was a good time. But after a few months they left, they didn’t live with us anymore. When they left they talk bad about me to my father. They said I skip school and was on a moto bike with a guy. I didn’t skip school and I was not with any guy. I was a top 3 student both my native education and English class. But my father choose to believe them and d
17 d
and didn’t talk to me for a year. My mom was on my side cheer me up from my father relatives. She continued took me on vacation and road trip. After that, it’s another story. My mom introduced me to her guy friend. We were on the way to province for vacation. He is her boyfriend. I cried silently but had to accept the truth. I pretended to be happy and talked normally to him while my sister made a scene at the back of the car. I accepted and help mom hiding about it from my dad for her happiness
Can I release my feelings here?
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