Why is it every time my dad cheats and abuse my mom. She calls me for help, then attacks me and push me away?

Anonymous
I don’t understand, is this normal marriage behavior?

My parents have been having relationship problems, before I was born. Ever since they started dating. There were so many BIG RED FLAGS from my father since they started dating. That no girl would EVER give him a chance, by his attitude and living situation.

Here are the red flags

-he was in military with a wife and son, while dating my mom.
-SHARING a room with his ex and my mom. To prove his ex he moved on with another woman to get a hint so she could leave.
-my mom becomes pregnant, while my dad drops her off at his brother house to baby sit the kids. While he departs in a different country.
-he comes back for my mom with cheating and physical abuse.

Now she has always tried to leave him with asking help from others, friends and family. But by her choice, she goes back with my dad. Her excuses are the money is entitled to her as a wife and feeling lost in this world.

Fast forward to the children growing up along with grandchildren becoming teenagers. My parents still fight and my dad still cheats and abuse my mom. In the past my mom has run away crying for help. Staying at her family house and my siblings house. Every time we voice our strong opinions seeing her in distressed, to “leave him” and “build yourself a nice and better life. You deserve happiness.”

She flips a switch and attacks us thinking we are judging her whenever we are not. We are painting her the picture what we witness and see, so she could wake up and better herself. Not I, family members and even psychologists could help her. Because she fights us and pushes us away and goes back to my dad. Which leads to waste of time and us in tears.

I respect my mom and love her but during times like this as I try to help her. She attacks me and pushes me away. Leaving me heart broken.
Why is it every time my dad cheats and abuse my mom. She calls me for help, then attacks me and push me away?
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