What to do about a narcissist ‘friend’ who wasn’t there for me during illness and now diagnosed cancer?

Anonymous
I’ve been very unwell since end of April and have recently been diagnosed with chronic cancer. I’m still digesting the news myself and it is very hard on me emotionally. I only told the people who I know are my true friends and have been with me throughout the time I’ve been sick.

I have this so called ‘friend’ who is a work colleague as well. She has a narcissistic nature and craves for attention - queen syndrome as the office describes her. The last time I was in contact with her was in June when I emailed her that I can’t make it to her wedding because I’m still unwell and going for surgery with a long recovery etc. This was all before I knew about the cancer.

Not only did she not respond immediately, she asked a mutual friend what’s going on about me first. But our mutual friend told her it’s best if she asked me instead. It took her over a week to reply. But to also she only messaged back to ask if I was 100% sure I can’t make it to her wedding and nothing about how I’m doing. Narcissism strike 1.

I gave her a long reply as to why I just can’t attend without disclosing the details and she didn’t reply back. Between June to now November - 5 months, I have not heard from her at all. Instead I hear from a mutual friend that she’s been trying to get my news through the grapevine instead of going directly to me. I told our mutual friend that I’m keeping everything private and don’t want it to spread, given the fact she can’t be bothered to just ask me and be there, she doesn’t have the right to know.

She has now texted me with a very vague message of ‘hey, hope you’re doing well and enjoying the autumn! It’s been too long xxx’

I genuinely don’t want to respond to her or give her the attention because she’s probably wondering why I’m still not at work and she can’t get any news. I feel I should be 100% focusing on myself and shut out unnecessary people because I don’t have time for pleasing others now.

Would it be wrong of me to just ignore her message?
What to do about a narcissist ‘friend’ who wasn’t there for me during illness and now diagnosed cancer?
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