True or false: if you’ve been crushing on a friend for months & you’ve just been hanging out platonically, you should just tell her the truth?

Question

True - just tell her - continuing to ask her if you want to hang out platonically all the time only makes things worse for both of you regardless of how she feels

False - you should continue to be a platonic friend with her and see what happens

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

Swe_Elin

Xper 5

Just ask her, and then it's that - you don't need to go and think that much then and you will know.

Asker

1 mo
Should it be done by text or at the next opportunity you see her?
Swe_Elin

1 mo
Do it in real life, a text don't show feelings and reactions, and that's the best way to tell. Also, you will get a more honest answer that way.
Asker

1 mo
Great. Next time I might see her will be at my small birthday gathering in 2 weeks time. Should I just wait until then? or ask if she wants to meet up sooner? Given that I’ve been seeing her alone every weekend for the past 2 months.
Show All Show Less
Swe_Elin

1 mo
The sooner the better I would say, but your party is a good place to - buy in private just you and her, I think that's better and makes her more comfy.
Asker

1 mo
Might be difficult at birthday unless I arrange to meet her beforehand.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
Just ask her to meet up sooner I think, it would be the best way.
Asker

1 mo
She might say no given that I’ve been asking to meet up with her every weekend and I asked her a really stupid question by text which might have communicated interested without really asking her out last week. I asked her if she wants to be in my support bubble (in the UK, 2 people can be in an exclusive support bubble if you live alone and it means that you can go to indoor places like museums, restaurants etc with them which is normally banned with people from other households under COVID rules). Her answer was “potentially, but we’ll see what the measures are when they’re announced”. She was referring to an updated set of rules being announced this week.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
As I see it, she is willing to be your bubble but want to see what they say about the situation at the announcement, like if they open up more or if the same - because if they open up it might be possible anyway without being in a bubble.

I don't think that question makes her feel bad at any way actually. For how long have you known and met her?
Asker

1 mo
I’ve known her for 3-4 years but only got closer and started hanging out alone recently (maybe 2 months ago). That’s when I started liking her. The things that make me think something could be wrong is that she never texts me first and never initiates plans with me. She does respond quickly when I text though and she never looks at her phone when I’m with her.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
She is a girl, don't worry about it - that's just the way we work ^^ Just go for it!
Asker

1 mo
Well tbh, what stops me is all these online self proclaimed dating experts and coaches who make videos and write articles.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
And I'm a girl, I know what girls like and how we works.
Asker

1 mo
Thank you for this insight. I think realistically, she has an idea that she might like me but probably isn’t certain whether I do or not as she has quite low self esteem. Whether she likes me or not may not even be something she has considered if she can’t work out whether I like her or not.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
You over analyze this thing way to much! If she did not enjoy your company, she would not meet up with you.
Asker

1 mo
That’s what I thought too. But in the past I have caused girls to become distant from me by continuing to ask to meet up with her every week.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
Everyone is different, what's apply to the other girls not necessarily apply to his girl.
Asker

1 mo
Can I ask what your thought process would be if a guy continued to ask to hang out with you every weekend?
Asker

1 mo
I mean alone.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
I would think he like to be with me, and also think maybe he is interested. If I'm not, I would make that clear right a way, long before several meetings.
Asker

1 mo
Very interesting - thank you again for the insight. Would it make a difference if you’ve been friends with him for a few years before you started meeting up alone all the time? In what way would you make it clear that you’re not interested?
Swe_Elin

1 mo
If we has been friends - even only on a distance, I would already made that clear back then if I'm not interested, yes.
Asker

1 mo
So if you think he developed interest, how would you hint you’re not interested?
Swe_Elin

1 mo
I would not meet up with him without I'm comfortable he knows, and I would say so clearly that it's just a friendship.
Asker

1 mo
Yes the girl I keep seeing did that to someone else. She said to a guy who asked her to go for drinks with him “I’d love to go for a drink with you but as friends”. This girl on the other hand has never said anything like that to me. But maybe that’s because I was never interested before. I used to call her one of the guys.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
You think to much, just tell her!
Asker

1 mo
I know but it’s because I always get rejected. but I guess rejection is just part of life and you have to take these risks.
Asker

1 mo
I’ll ask her later in the week if she wants to meet up on Saturday.
Swe_Elin

1 mo
Look, if she says no then just be friends - if she says yes then you have the best day of your life. It can only be better.
Asker

1 mo
Or I’ll suggest “I’m going to this on Saturday. Want to come?”
Swe_Elin

1 mo
Both will be just fine =)
Asker

1 mo
So I told her about my birthday and about the walk. She said she can’t do this weekend but can do my birthday. Then I asked if she wants to go and see the Christmas lightsd she told me which days she can do.

Answer 2

Asker

Should it be done by text or at the next opportunity you see her?

Answer 3

Swe_Elin

Do it in real life, a text don't show feelings and reactions, and that's the best way to tell. Also, you will get a more honest answer that way.

Answer 4

Asker

Great. Next time I might see her will be at my small birthday gathering in 2 weeks time. Should I just wait until then? or ask if she wants to meet up sooner? Given that I’ve been seeing her alone every weekend for the past 2 months.

Answer 5

Swe_Elin

The sooner the better I would say, but your party is a good place to - buy in private just you and her, I think that's better and makes her more comfy.

Answer 6

Asker

Might be difficult at birthday unless I arrange to meet her beforehand.

Answer 7

Swe_Elin

Just ask her to meet up sooner I think, it would be the best way.

Answer 8

Asker

She might say no given that I’ve been asking to meet up with her every weekend and I asked her a really stupid question by text which might have communicated interested without really asking her out last week. I asked her if she wants to be in my support bubble (in the UK, 2 people can be in an exclusive support bubble if you live alone and it means that you can go to indoor places like museums, restaurants etc with them which is normally banned with people from other households under COVID rules). Her answer was “potentially, but we’ll see what the measures are when they’re announced”. She was referring to an updated set of rules being announced this week.

Answer 9

Swe_Elin

As I see it, she is willing to be your bubble but want to see what they say about the situation at the announcement, like if they open up more or if the same - because if they open up it might be possible anyway without being in a bubble.

I don't think that question makes her feel bad at any way actually. For how long have you known and met her?

Answer 10

Asker

I’ve known her for 3-4 years but only got closer and started hanging out alone recently (maybe 2 months ago). That’s when I started liking her. The things that make me think something could be wrong is that she never texts me first and never initiates plans with me. She does respond quickly when I text though and she never looks at her phone when I’m with her.

Answer 11

Swe_Elin

She is a girl, don't worry about it - that's just the way we work ^^ Just go for it!

Answer 12

Asker

Well tbh, what stops me is all these online self proclaimed dating experts and coaches who make videos and write articles.

Answer 13

Swe_Elin

And I'm a girl, I know what girls like and how we works.

Answer 14

Asker

Thank you for this insight. I think realistically, she has an idea that she might like me but probably isn’t certain whether I do or not as she has quite low self esteem. Whether she likes me or not may not even be something she has considered if she can’t work out whether I like her or not.

Answer 15

Swe_Elin

You over analyze this thing way to much! If she did not enjoy your company, she would not meet up with you.

Answer 16

Asker

That’s what I thought too. But in the past I have caused girls to become distant from me by continuing to ask to meet up with her every week.

Answer 17

Swe_Elin

Everyone is different, what's apply to the other girls not necessarily apply to his girl.

Answer 18

Asker

Can I ask what your thought process would be if a guy continued to ask to hang out with you every weekend?

Answer 19

Asker

I mean alone.

Answer 20

Swe_Elin

I would think he like to be with me, and also think maybe he is interested. If I'm not, I would make that clear right a way, long before several meetings.

Answer 21

Asker

Very interesting - thank you again for the insight. Would it make a difference if you’ve been friends with him for a few years before you started meeting up alone all the time? In what way would you make it clear that you’re not interested?

Answer 22

Swe_Elin

If we has been friends - even only on a distance, I would already made that clear back then if I'm not interested, yes.

Answer 23

Asker

So if you think he developed interest, how would you hint you’re not interested?

Answer 24

Swe_Elin

I would not meet up with him without I'm comfortable he knows, and I would say so clearly that it's just a friendship.

Answer 25

Asker

Yes the girl I keep seeing did that to someone else. She said to a guy who asked her to go for drinks with him “I’d love to go for a drink with you but as friends”. This girl on the other hand has never said anything like that to me. But maybe that’s because I was never interested before. I used to call her one of the guys.

Answer 26

Swe_Elin

You think to much, just tell her!

Answer 27

Asker

I know but it’s because I always get rejected. but I guess rejection is just part of life and you have to take these risks.

Answer 28

Asker

I’ll ask her later in the week if she wants to meet up on Saturday.

Answer 29

Swe_Elin

Look, if she says no then just be friends - if she says yes then you have the best day of your life. It can only be better.

Answer 30

Asker

Or I’ll suggest “I’m going to this on Saturday. Want to come?”

Answer 31

Swe_Elin

Both will be just fine =)

Answer 32

Asker

So I told her about my birthday and about the walk. She said she can’t do this weekend but can do my birthday. Then I asked if she wants to go and see the Christmas lightsd she told me which days she can do.

Answer 33

courtney06 | 301 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Yoda

I voted A but I think only tell her that if she’s single.

True or false: if you’ve been crushing on a friend for months & you’ve just been hanging out platonically, you should just tell her the truth?

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