Am I the asshole here? At what point do you stop wanting a parents approval?

I'm 19, living with my mother until I move out for school next year.
My mother is a “baker/personal chef" so majority of our kitchen is taken up by baking pans, utilities, and 2 counter top mixers. She'll constantly complain about not having room and the cabinets being too small. As a person she doesn't clean up after herself unless the mess is too much to bear.

Last week I came home ( I stay at my boyfriends house most night but we stopped by to shop in town) and she was heading out to go shopping. On her way out she asked me to clean the kitchen, saying that it's not that big of a mess and I don't do much around the house anyway and how I'll be moving out next year so I won't have to do it after I'm gone and pointed out that I left a pan in the stove unwashed. To give you idea of the mess, the floor wasn't swept, the trash needed to be taken out, there was trash and shit that didn't belong on the bar counter, the counters were covered with bowls and pans and wrappers and icing from her mixing bowl had splatted the backsplash of the wall. There was also a sink full of dishes. I had shit to do with my day but I decided to suck it up and basically cleans everything and put everything in it's place, I did everything expect wash dishes ( I washed the pan I used, but everything else was used by her I stabbed in the counter next to the sink).
I've been feeling anxious and down recently about moving out next year and transferring schools and she knocked on my bedroom door to ask about Christmas stuff, afterward she asked me to clean our chalkboard wall so we can write Christmas themes on it (which I had no problem doing) and then said“ cmonn I asked you to do this last week and you still haven't, I asked you to clean the kitchen last week and you didn't, you're hurting my feelings , you're letting me down"
I wanted so badly to tell her that the approval means nothing. Being around her is mentally draining and I just want to stay in my room until I leave.
Am I the asshole here? At what point do you stop wanting a parents approval?
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