Can a drug addict be a good mother?

Question

My boyfriend’s mom was a drug addict. Throughout his life she would do heroine, crack, etc. He says she was a “good mom.” He believes his family is “cool.” Yet, both of his parents were abusive. They allowed their kids to underage drink (even before 18). They would even have their teens with them and smoke weed together. She wasn’t watching him one morning and had alcohol in a soda bottle, so my boyfriend got wasted at 4. The list goes on. All of this to say, do you think a drug addict can be a good parent despite using drugs? He used the excuse she wasn’t ready for kids, but she was a good parent. I think he’s blinding himself to the truth of the situation. His entire family still tries to pressure him into making bad decisions with drugs, alcohol, and money.

Answer 1

wittymilf | 158 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

If he thinks she raised him well then she did. If you were raised the same way though h you may not have thought it was good. Drug users can be good parents.. drug addicts would struggle. Getting stoned with my kids has been one of the best bonding things we’ve ever done as a family.

Asker

14 d
I just don’t see how someone who gets drunk and violent almost daily around them would be a good mother. She isn’t just smoking weed, he told me she has been on every drug like heroine, crack, etc while raising them also. He feels like he’s not the favorite child, but I feel like they had an inept mother that chose drugs.
wittymilf

14 d
Does it matter? I mean that’s like trying to convince a person that they’re life was actually shit... why would you try and do that?
loveslongnails

14 d
I love ya witty, but I think you missed the mark on this one. Drug "users" might be able to keep things reigned in, but "drug addicts" can't. They will always put their need to get high in front of anything else, even a child. Some teens or young adults may not realize how badly they were treated as a child because they got used to it, but that doesn't mean they got good parenting.
Show All Show Less
wittymilf

14 d
@loveslongnails ok.. but why, if someone is happy with their upbringing, would you want to turn that around and make them regret it? Like it’s the past they survived it they came out with a positive mindset so why try changing that? I’d get it if they were resigned to mimic the parenting style... but if they’re resigned to the fact that that’s just the way mym was and I love her anyway... what’s to gain by crushing the illusion?
wittymilf

14 d
Love you too 😘
loveslongnails

14 d
I agree that you don't need to crush someone's dealing with their upbringing once they're adjusted. But they have to be made aware that certain things just weren't right so they don't repeat that with their own kids. Know what I mean>? Love you more! :-D
Asker

13 d
@loveslongnails I’ve in no way mentioned this to him. However, he complains about how awful his childhood was and how he wasn’t loved by his mother. Then he goes over to his mom’s house and tells me what a good mom she is. It’s very confusing, and she left him with a lot of trauma that he won’t work through.
wittymilf

13 d
Oh that’s different! That’s just a child loving there shitty parent unconditionally, that’s being attached to the idea of a good mum. I thought you meant that he thought his upbringing was good, but what your actually seeing is a guy just appreciating the moments when his shit mum isn’t being shit.
loveslongnails

13 d
... which makes a lot more sense.

Answer 2

Asker

I just don’t see how someone who gets drunk and violent almost daily around them would be a good mother. She isn’t just smoking weed, he told me she has been on every drug like heroine, crack, etc while raising them also. He feels like he’s not the favorite child, but I feel like they had an inept mother that chose drugs.

Answer 3

wittymilf

Does it matter? I mean that’s like trying to convince a person that they’re life was actually shit... why would you try and do that?

Answer 4

loveslongnails

I love ya witty, but I think you missed the mark on this one. Drug "users" might be able to keep things reigned in, but "drug addicts" can't. They will always put their need to get high in front of anything else, even a child. Some teens or young adults may not realize how badly they were treated as a child because they got used to it, but that doesn't mean they got good parenting.

Answer 5

wittymilf

@loveslongnails ok.. but why, if someone is happy with their upbringing, would you want to turn that around and make them regret it? Like it’s the past they survived it they came out with a positive mindset so why try changing that? I’d get it if they were resigned to mimic the parenting style... but if they’re resigned to the fact that that’s just the way mym was and I love her anyway... what’s to gain by crushing the illusion?

Answer 6

wittymilf

Love you too 😘

Answer 7

loveslongnails

I agree that you don't need to crush someone's dealing with their upbringing once they're adjusted. But they have to be made aware that certain things just weren't right so they don't repeat that with their own kids. Know what I mean>? Love you more! :-D

Answer 8

Asker

@loveslongnails I’ve in no way mentioned this to him. However, he complains about how awful his childhood was and how he wasn’t loved by his mother. Then he goes over to his mom’s house and tells me what a good mom she is. It’s very confusing, and she left him with a lot of trauma that he won’t work through.

Answer 9

wittymilf

Oh that’s different! That’s just a child loving there shitty parent unconditionally, that’s being attached to the idea of a good mum. I thought you meant that he thought his upbringing was good, but what your actually seeing is a guy just appreciating the moments when his shit mum isn’t being shit.

Answer 10

loveslongnails

... which makes a lot more sense.

Answer 11

Zally

Xper 4

When you love something. You don't put them in a situation for danger, I've seen full blown junkies clean themselves up overnight and stay clean for their children. There's no excuse. If your inability is greater then the love for your children. Don't have children.

Answer 12

Ilickvulvas

Xper 4

Nope. Their first love is their next fix not their kids

Answer 13

loveslongnails | 335 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

Not in your wildest dreams.

Answer 14

Jmmmfi4 | 219 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

I think you answered your own question

Can a drug addict be a good mother?

AI Bot Choice

Most Helpful Guys

What Girls & Guys Said

Related myTakes