Why do people pretend to care when they don’t care at all?

Question

Why do people pretend to care to my face but, their actions prove otherwise? Why can’t they admit they don’t care? What causes this behavior?

Answer 1

Emmaky02

Xper 5

I think it’s just a natural, humane reaction. I mean most people don’t want to be rude, hurt your feelings & straight up tell you, ‘I don’t care.’ they’d rather be polite.

KatanaSlice

12 d
The thing is though this person was someone who I used to be good friends with but she ended up trying to cut contact gradually. She kept trying to make excuses and pretending to care even though I made it obvious that I knew. The worst part is she was the one who initiated the friendship so the least she could do is be honest and end it considering I have her so many chances so she could have been honest instead of lying about it.
Emmaky02

1 d
Yes, that is very unfortunate when that happens. Sorry that happened to you. But once again, trying to step in her shoes, I’ll stick with my original answer. She didn’t want to hurt you. So she lied to try and protect your feelings.
Emmaky02

1 d
Let me just add, she lied THINKING it would protect your feelings.
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KatanaSlice

22 h
I know her reasoning but at some point she surely should have realized that her tactic wasn't working. She wasted months of both of our lives because she couldn't be honest. What's more is I'm almost positive that the last few times we hung out she only did it purely out of pity. I know this for a fact because in the beginning we were hanging out constantly and she initiated most of those. Towards the end she stopped initiating and the few times we hung out I was barely able to get her to hang out.

The final straw came when she agreed to hang out despite the fact that she didn't want to and lied about a miscarriage to get out of it. I called her out on it and she refused to admit to lying about the miscarriage and instead pretended to be outraged and finally she told me not to talk to her anymore.

She created a lot of mutual resentment between us when if she had been honest we could have both gone our separate ways without any ill will towards each other.
KatanaSlice

22 h
*I know her reasoning but at some point she surely should have realized that her tactic wasn't working. She wasted months of both of our lives because she couldn't be honest. What's more is I'm almost positive that the last few times we hung out she only did it purely out of pity. I know this for a fact because in the beginning we were hanging out constantly and she initiated most of those. Towards the end she stopped initiating and the last few times we hung out I was barely able to get her to hang out.
Emmaky02

21 h
Wow, she lied about a miscarriage? Thats definitely over the top. Yeah I mean I wish I could help you out more. Guess we’ll never know what goes on in the minds of some people
KatanaSlice

21 h
It's not your fault and I appreciate your feedback. I just needed to vent thank you for letting me vent.
Emmaky02

20 h
Yeah of course. No worries. I understand, venting always feels really good! At least she’s out of your life now. Hopefully you won’t have to put up with someone like her again. Best wishes!

Answer 2

KatanaSlice

The thing is though this person was someone who I used to be good friends with but she ended up trying to cut contact gradually. She kept trying to make excuses and pretending to care even though I made it obvious that I knew. The worst part is she was the one who initiated the friendship so the least she could do is be honest and end it considering I have her so many chances so she could have been honest instead of lying about it.

Answer 3

Emmaky02

Yes, that is very unfortunate when that happens. Sorry that happened to you. But once again, trying to step in her shoes, I’ll stick with my original answer. She didn’t want to hurt you. So she lied to try and protect your feelings.

Answer 4

Emmaky02

Let me just add, she lied THINKING it would protect your feelings.

Answer 5

KatanaSlice

I know her reasoning but at some point she surely should have realized that her tactic wasn't working. She wasted months of both of our lives because she couldn't be honest. What's more is I'm almost positive that the last few times we hung out she only did it purely out of pity. I know this for a fact because in the beginning we were hanging out constantly and she initiated most of those. Towards the end she stopped initiating and the few times we hung out I was barely able to get her to hang out.

The final straw came when she agreed to hang out despite the fact that she didn't want to and lied about a miscarriage to get out of it. I called her out on it and she refused to admit to lying about the miscarriage and instead pretended to be outraged and finally she told me not to talk to her anymore.

She created a lot of mutual resentment between us when if she had been honest we could have both gone our separate ways without any ill will towards each other.

Answer 6

KatanaSlice

*I know her reasoning but at some point she surely should have realized that her tactic wasn't working. She wasted months of both of our lives because she couldn't be honest. What's more is I'm almost positive that the last few times we hung out she only did it purely out of pity. I know this for a fact because in the beginning we were hanging out constantly and she initiated most of those. Towards the end she stopped initiating and the last few times we hung out I was barely able to get her to hang out.

Answer 7

Emmaky02

Wow, she lied about a miscarriage? Thats definitely over the top. Yeah I mean I wish I could help you out more. Guess we’ll never know what goes on in the minds of some people

Answer 8

KatanaSlice

It's not your fault and I appreciate your feedback. I just needed to vent thank you for letting me vent.

Answer 9

Emmaky02

Yeah of course. No worries. I understand, venting always feels really good! At least she’s out of your life now. Hopefully you won’t have to put up with someone like her again. Best wishes!

Why do people pretend to care when they don’t care at all?

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