If you were in this position would you keep the child?
I ask because I work with a family whose child is like this. Their life consist of multiples surgeries, in and out of doctors offices, frustrated teachers (due to the child's lacking in intellect) , can't read, write, and wears diapers at age 17. The child was born like this it is so sad she has no life unfortunately. So I just wondered how others would deal with it
The need to get rid of the child it has no quality of life
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I think they're making the right decision by sticking by the child
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1 mo
When I say "get rid" I put that because some people wouldn't have understood the medical term hospice
1 mo
Hospice is comfort care when all medical alternatives have failed. Basically a DNR
What are your thoughts on parents who decide to keep their severely special needs child who is mentally at a vegetative state?
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Jjpayne | 1.6K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Master
1 mo
It's a place of not letting go. I think you might not ever fully understand until you get there. I think it's like, carrying a baby all the way to pregnancy and giving birth to a vegetable. Do you keep what you waited 9 months for or do you ask the doctor to humanely put the baby to sleep? Or let's say you child has inspired a whole school of students has gotten her master's and been selected to represent her graduating class. She gives an amazing speech and is on track for her doctorate and is going into an amazing job that will help and Inspire many people. Only as she finally moves to wear her job is, she gets into a car accident and is now in a vegetable state. All her class comes out and floods the hospital outside to bring their support, do you pull the plug? I think it's honestly a hard place to be until you are there. And yes, they could have been a terrible person and an underachiever with people just saying good riddance, pull the plug... But it's honestly still a hard place to be, because there is always that hope for a future. Do you give up your hope, even though it's unfounded, or do you hold on? I think there is a good point of a waste money, resources and time. It is just such a sensitive topic that I don't think we can even have commentary on until we are in the same position as they are. It's like never losing person in life only to be at a funeral and seemingly have all the answers. Because I think until we experience it, I don't think we can fully understand what it means to go through
It's their kid, their life and so they are free to decide what they do. I can only comment what I'd do if this is my own situation: From what you describe, the kid is only alive because of medical technology. Two hundred years earlier, and it would already have died - and for its own good. I'd not pursue life-end-procrastination. Before someone jumps at me: for myself I'd as well wish for no such assistance in case that I lose the ability to interact or to keep myself alive 'from within'. My thought about the parents: I'd neither criticize them, nor do I admire what they do.
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Is this still revelant?
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Wonderer89 | 885 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Master
1 mo
Realistically, once the child is born that’s it. There is nothing to be done at that point, it’s just making the best with what you’ve got. We’re passed leaving changelings out in the forest for fairies to take home.
But this is why we have so many tests and scans through pregnancy to be aware of any health issues before the birth to either be prepared, or make the choice to abort. It’s such a complex thing, and I really think that until someone is faced with the choices they don’t know what it takes to make those decisions... I know before I had a baby I was always of the opinion if I couldn’t give that child my all (for whatever reason) or there was a life debilitating illness I would abort but after experiencing pregnancy and birth I just don’t know if I could. I’d like to think I would make the best choice if their health was that if your question - I don’t believe it’s a quality of life for a child or the rest of my family to have to live through but I do know it wouldn’t be as simple a choice as I thought when I was younger
I work in medical. I've encountered many people like that and I often wonder how selfish & inconsiderate - even stupid - the parents are. . Individuals like that have no life. There are ones who can not even feed themselves. Why make them suffer? Do the parents get some sort of sick & twisted satisfaction in having others pat them on the back for **their** difficulties. Not the child's. If anyone cared for the child they'd be humane and put him/her out of their suffering. . The pathetic nature & hypocrisy of humanity really does strick you when you consider:
People scream at the top of their lungs about inhumanity to animals. Yet say fuck all when people who can not defend themselves, can not talk for themselves, etc. - no different than, in the basics, animals people get hysterical about - needlessly suffer.
You get it!!! Thank you, from a medical prospective they really need to let this child go. All medical alternatives have been exhausted the child is a vegetable. I know they get a check for her.
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menina | 602 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Master
1 mo
Honestly I don't know how to answer this question. It's a tough situation. The child deserves to live, killing them is murder and cruel but at the same time living like that is suffering. They will never be able to fully enjoy their lives, they will be always limited. I don't know what I would in this situation. It's one of those that you only know how to react when it happens to you.
Yeah , me either. I work for a family who has a child like this. She's had 14 operations and still needs more corrective surgery. She can no longer eat by mouth so she has a feedinh tube, she can't breath on her own so now she has a hole in her throat with oxygen 24/7, she still needs back surgery , facial reconstruction, and surgery on her legs. She's on 20 medications. I'm just like damn she's suffering. And no matter how
That is a call I hope no one ever hast to make. That said it is a life a person that belongs to a family a person that may be the same 20years from now as they were born thank God I never had to make that call. I have to this day make calls that affect a child born with brain cancer for every operation done to her to keep her alive [21] to this date is a call that can end her life on an operating table and will have to do this till she can make her own call when she turns 18 years old she is now 14 . SO THANK GOD IF YOU NEVER HAVE TO KNOW THE FEELING.
This is sad when people make decisions to put this Child through this type of pain and the Child will never be able to learn, read, write, and in a vegetative state for life, I know a woman who had many Children and she has issues and her one Child was going to be born without a brain you know she still wanted the doctors not to abort the baby it was born only lived for a couple of hours but she held it to it passed away but I can't see people who put a Child through this, it's not right to them my Mom found out she had terminal cancer and she signed the DNR and even at the nursing home they could not bring her back to life but for a Child to be age 17 and in Hospice is so sad that is like that one guy whose age 40 and frozen in time and he is just like a baby and his Mother takes care of him changed his diapers and I don't know if he eats on his own he may be on feeding tubes
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Anonymous
1 mo
I don't havsI don't have an opinion on the subject because I don't have children, I don't know what it is to be a mother, much less to be the mother of a baby who is destined to die early. I can only imagine from the love I have for the people who are close to me, how hard it must be to end the life of someone who barely lived it. I'm sure it's as if part of you died with the person. And then there's always that hope that no matter how fucked up the situation is, we want to cling to the idea that a miracle will happen for us. This is the type of thing you have to experience (God forbid) in order to know how would you react.
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Guffrus | 182 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Guru
1 mo
To understand the present you must understand the past.
Its not so long ago that people were being fed into gas chambers by those who considered themselves a superior race, this has led to people being some what touchy on the subject of killing people because you dont consider their life to be of any value.
I think this is selfish of them, I'd either abort the child before it is born after I realized it was in that stage from the ultrasound. I think they should consider ending the child's life in a humane way. It sounds very harsh but this is not fair to the child, what happens when parents pass away. I understand when the child was born normal and get injured then you just don't wanna let go, even then it's selfish of those around who just wants to hold on to what's left of them.
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wittymilf | 160 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Guru
1 mo
Once a child is born, you can’t get rid of it 🤷♀️. Even healthy children can grow into burdens on parents and society.
Most parents, in the long run, are neither emotionally nor financially capable of enduring the brutal realities of raising such a child. They and the child would be much better off if the baby was institutionalized where trained professionals will be able to provide the best quality of care.
Incredible things happen sometimes. You never know if the child is going to be any particular thing, why not take the chance and see what could happen?
My sister is mentally an 18 month old. She wears diapers at night and is 25 years old and a mute. She is very friendly and spends her day dancing and pretending to read the news paper. Her life matters and is valued by Jesus.
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OlderAndWiser | 1.2K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Master
1 mo
How would you suggest that they "get rid of" their child?
Hospice.. Which would place the child under a DNR order... Hospice care is considered end of life care to where all alternatives have been exhausted and proven unsuccessful... hospice care only provides comfort to the individual. And when the individual is about to go they go peacefully instead of life saving measures such as cpr, intubation, or a ventilator. I should've put hospice to better explain but I didn't wanna get into all the detail
That is a tremendously important bit of information. Of course, parents struggle with such decisions and, too often, they make decisions that some might view as selfish. While I can't sit in my armchair and pontificate about what "should" be done, I don't know that I would handle it ay differently if the decision was my responsibility to make.
In short, don't judge the Indian until you've walked a mile in their moccasins.
The parents are 50.. The child is 17.. im speaking about the family I work with. Their child has this same condition. The family has exhausted their health insurance on her so they can't use it for themselves until another year. But anyways Yeah , me either. I work for a family who has a child like this. She's had 14 operations and still needs more corrective surgery. She can no longer eat by mouth so she has a feedinh tube, she can't breath on her own so now she has a hole in her throat with oxygen 24/7, she still needs back surgery , facial reconstruction, and surgery on her legs. She's on 20 medications. I'm just like damn she's suffering. And no matter how
My father has epilepsy aswell.. I absolutely agree no child wants to be sick. I was in and out of the hospital as a child not nowhere near what the child is going through. I dont know what I'd do in the situation. As a care giver I see the situation as her 14 surgeries and still they said they have to do more, she can't eat by mouth, she has a feeding tube, can't walk or talk, can't sign, can't read or write. I used to go to school with her and remember how she was mistreated and couldn't defend herself. She has it rough. She has use of only one lung and a trach. Just sad. If she could talk im sure she'd say whether or not she'd want these surgeries
Not to minimize what you have but you're able to walk, talk, eat, read, write, attend colleges, be creative. I'm referring to a completely like vegetative state
I didn't have surgeries or anything but I just know as a child I was on the about to break if I had to go to another freaking doctor's appointment or to the hospital. The stuff I was dealing with was in no way as rough as hers. so I'm just imaging how she felt when her issues are way bigger than what mine were.
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