Why do I hate to have male friends?

Question

I had lots of friends growing up. After I got married and had kids I kinda drifted away from them.
Now even though I'm single, I hate when guys start hanging around too much.
I'm nice to them, but deep down inside I want them to go away, I even hide from them.
What would you call that?

Loner

Jerk

Social disorder

Tired of being used

Single parent who needs space on their days to themselves

All of the above

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

Anonymous

Is it a case of male friends specifically or friends in general?

I wouldn't say I avoid making guy friends but I just find girls easier to befriend and talk to.

I think it's also about the sort of friendship you're after. A lot of my friendships have been fairly intimate and playful, the sort of connection I only feel comfortable having with a woman.

Equally if you used to be inseparable with your partner it could be a subconscious desire to try and fill that void.

Runnerc838

4 d
I think it's male friends specifically.
I guess being married and working alone so much I became accustomed to that life.
Now I do bond with women quickly because I probably am trying to replace my ex.
Otherwise I have my son to hang out with so I never feel lonely.
Opinion Owner

4 d
I feel that, I live with my partner and have been either unemployed or working from home for the whole lockdown. I've had guys contact me asking if I'm up for playing games or having a catch up but I just dont have the motivation. I have my partner and occasionally hang out with her twin and that's all I really need. I feel like I've grown accustomed to that and its fulfilling enough when they're around.

I do get occasional bouts of feeling down and lonely, primarily when my partner is at work. But we have a dog who keeps me company so it's not all bad
Runnerc838

4 d
That sounds nice.
I think I probably isolated myself a bit too much during my marriage though.
It has it's benefits, but can also leave you feeling completely abandoned if you go through a breakup.
I'm comfortable being a loner now though, I just need female attention occasionally.

Answer 2

Runnerc838

I think it's male friends specifically.
I guess being married and working alone so much I became accustomed to that life.
Now I do bond with women quickly because I probably am trying to replace my ex.
Otherwise I have my son to hang out with so I never feel lonely.

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

I feel that, I live with my partner and have been either unemployed or working from home for the whole lockdown. I've had guys contact me asking if I'm up for playing games or having a catch up but I just dont have the motivation. I have my partner and occasionally hang out with her twin and that's all I really need. I feel like I've grown accustomed to that and its fulfilling enough when they're around.

I do get occasional bouts of feeling down and lonely, primarily when my partner is at work. But we have a dog who keeps me company so it's not all bad

Answer 4

Runnerc838

That sounds nice.
I think I probably isolated myself a bit too much during my marriage though.
It has it's benefits, but can also leave you feeling completely abandoned if you go through a breakup.
I'm comfortable being a loner now though, I just need female attention occasionally.

Answer 5

Myou-ou

Xper 2

Our society has been poisoned with the idea that male friends are gay if they're close, in order to feminize men and make them more easily controlled - e. g., they seek approval from women, who are themselves often overly socialized and less likely to go against the grain. The fact that this is your preference just indicates this process has been present for a while now, and that you're the result of it rather than an intermediary stage.

Runnerc838

4 d
Nobody said anything about them being gay.
Myou-ou

4 d
You didn't have to. I used that info to help answer your question.

Answer 6

Runnerc838

Nobody said anything about them being gay.

Answer 7

Myou-ou

You didn't have to. I used that info to help answer your question.

Answer 8

rienna888

Xper 6

Are they kind to you? Do they do things that annoy you?

Runnerc838

3 d
They're pretty nice to me and I am to them as well generally.
Except I avoid them sometimes.
One of them is always trying to get me to drink and he pressures me to date. He tries to set me up with this one woman and he won't leave me alone about it.
I danced with her and I talked to her, but we wanted different things in life.
My other friend does business with me and he's the one who always talks about his ex.
It drags up bad memories and depresses me.
I don't have it in me to be his therapist and I just want to move on.
rienna888

3 d
Well you don’t always have to hang out with them. In fact you don’t have to at all. You could always text them, especially cuz it’s covid they’ll just think it’s that. Do whatever you like, the good friends will always stick around. Remember life is short, only do the things you like and things you must.
Runnerc838

3 d
Thanks, It's just that they know where I live.
They just show up sometimes and I start to feel the strong urge to get them away from me.
I guess the real problem is that I do business with them in a way so they always have a reason to be around. One of them purposely leaves stuff here so he has a reason to come hang out.
I'm used to spending all my time with my wife and child for years and years.
Now that my marriage is over I got these lonely guys hanging around and I don't know what to do with that.
Show All Show Less
rienna888

3 d
Omg that sucks but you should tell them you’re busy, just make up something. They probably really like you and your company. But I understand sometimes I hate it and makes me uncomfortable. Tell them you need some time alone and sorry. They’ll understand cuz of what happened.

Answer 9

Runnerc838

They're pretty nice to me and I am to them as well generally.
Except I avoid them sometimes.
One of them is always trying to get me to drink and he pressures me to date. He tries to set me up with this one woman and he won't leave me alone about it.
I danced with her and I talked to her, but we wanted different things in life.
My other friend does business with me and he's the one who always talks about his ex.
It drags up bad memories and depresses me.
I don't have it in me to be his therapist and I just want to move on.

Answer 10

rienna888

Well you don’t always have to hang out with them. In fact you don’t have to at all. You could always text them, especially cuz it’s covid they’ll just think it’s that. Do whatever you like, the good friends will always stick around. Remember life is short, only do the things you like and things you must.

Answer 11

Runnerc838

Thanks, It's just that they know where I live.
They just show up sometimes and I start to feel the strong urge to get them away from me.
I guess the real problem is that I do business with them in a way so they always have a reason to be around. One of them purposely leaves stuff here so he has a reason to come hang out.
I'm used to spending all my time with my wife and child for years and years.
Now that my marriage is over I got these lonely guys hanging around and I don't know what to do with that.

Answer 12

rienna888

Omg that sucks but you should tell them you’re busy, just make up something. They probably really like you and your company. But I understand sometimes I hate it and makes me uncomfortable. Tell them you need some time alone and sorry. They’ll understand cuz of what happened.

Answer 13

Iron_Man | 2.7K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

Hang out with your family

Runnerc838

4 d
I think that may be part of my issues.
I was inseparable with my wife, then I raised a child and spent a great deal of time devoted to being a father. Now, I finally have some freedom and I always have projects and I like to run a lot in the woods.
It clears my head, It's like therapy.
If I have any extra time or energy, I spend it with my son.
When my old buddies come around I can only handle hanging out with them for a short amount of time. They complain too much about their exes or they ask too many personal questions or always want something from me.
Iron_Man

4 d
What about your brothers and sisters and parents
Runnerc838

4 d
My brother got killed in a bad crash with a bunch of other guys in a work truck.
My dad died a few years ago, my sister lives far away.
I see my mom occasionally.
Show All Show Less
Iron_Man

4 d
That’s awful I’m so sorry to hear that
Runnerc838

4 d
Thanks, I miss those guys the most.
Iron_Man

4 d
Yes of course

Answer 14

Runnerc838

I think that may be part of my issues.
I was inseparable with my wife, then I raised a child and spent a great deal of time devoted to being a father. Now, I finally have some freedom and I always have projects and I like to run a lot in the woods.
It clears my head, It's like therapy.
If I have any extra time or energy, I spend it with my son.
When my old buddies come around I can only handle hanging out with them for a short amount of time. They complain too much about their exes or they ask too many personal questions or always want something from me.

Answer 15

Iron_Man

What about your brothers and sisters and parents

Answer 16

Runnerc838

My brother got killed in a bad crash with a bunch of other guys in a work truck.
My dad died a few years ago, my sister lives far away.
I see my mom occasionally.

Answer 17

Iron_Man

That’s awful I’m so sorry to hear that

Answer 18

Runnerc838

Thanks, I miss those guys the most.

Answer 19

Iron_Man

Yes of course

Answer 20

TheBootyChest | 123 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Yoda

Someone who lost interest in being with the guys.

Answer 21

Avicenna | 1.3K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Master

That’s being a loner, I guess

Why do I hate to have male friends?

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